Maybe it's a sign of good leadership abilities
I don't know if it's me, or whether anyone else has seen this, too...but John Kerry has an enormous head.

Seriously - thing's gotta be the size of a watermelon, and shaped the same, too. It's like somebody took Jay Leno, gave him more wrinkles, and asked him to run for President.

Yeah, that's a good way to do things
Maybe it's just me, but generally, when a team is in first place, the head coach or manager has something to do with it. I know Larry Bowa took a lot of flak for being a complete jerk-off in the Philadelphia Phillies' dugout; still, the team was in the wild-card hunt up until the very end, and I'm sure that Bowa's "I hate you all" attitude actually was a good part of that.

So when a team is in first place in the NBA, which isn't a particularly easy place to be, one has to wonder why in the world said team would so something so idiotic as to fire the coach that got it into first place. I have no idea what the real reason behind Byron Scott's firing is, but I'm sure a large amount of credence must be given to the theory that Jason Kidd and Coach Scott just don't get along. Kenyon Martin, apparently, also had some complaints about the tactics of Scott, but seriously - until Martin raises his field-goal percentage into the double-digits, I would personally prefer that he shut the hell up.

What kind of signal does that send to future coaching candidates that because your star player thinks he knows more about basketball theory than the coach, the coach is going to get the can? Now, if the Nets were in third place, or last place, then Kidd's complaints would probably be warranted. But honestly, the team was in first freaking place. In other words, nobody was ranked ahead of them in the standings. The idea that a first-place coach can be fired because your star is a whiny little bitch bothers me, and it really ought to bother anybody who'd be thinking about sending in their resume to the Nets should another vacancy open up (which, I'm sure, it will).

I hope Jason Kidd gets mugged his first day in Brooklyn. And you better watch that Karma.

Animal Cruely can be fun!
Have you ever had a dream that you were a Yeti with a club, and you had an unlimited supply of penguins to smack for distance?

So have I. And now, in a way, that dream can be reality through the miracle of Flash animation technology.

http://home.tele2.fr/kcv/pinguin.swf

The sad thing about this is how much fun it really is. I feel dirty. (By the way, nothing's more fun than hitting 'em high and watching them face plant. Just so you know).

Spirit Rover has no Spirit
NASA, the people who give us such great things as 17 moon rocks and supersmooth ball bearings, announced today that the Spirit Rover, toodling around in Gusev Crater on Mars, has stopped toodling. Or, at the very least, it has stopped announcing what it's doing when it's toodling.

This can only mean one of two things: We have discovered life, and it's pissed off, or the Rover had an accident with the Beagle 2 and they're both still trading insurance information.

I have a very hard time with this post
You know, I tend to be a fairly liberal guy. George W. Bush is a moron, George Herbert Walker Bush has incredibly stupid sperm, Karl Rowe is a jackass, and on and on and on.

So it's very hard for me to say anything bad about a government that, for all its faults, has as much right to exist as any other: the government of Israel. My liberal bent, and my idealism, both cause me to generally be an unflagging supporter of Israel's continued drive for existence in what has got to be the worst possible place to put the damned country - it's a country with about two allies in the whole of the Middle East, and it seems that just about every other person in the region wants to see Israel turned into a glass lake or gigantic poison control center.

But Ariel Sharon has got to be about the worst thing to have ever happened to Israel. I realize that he's a war hero, but the ability to lead troops and defend your country from invasion is slightly different from the ability, and willingness, to peacefully act as chief executive of a country that is under constant attack from both outside and inside its borders.

Prime Minister Sharon, some of you will recall, is among the people from the Likud Party who walked on the Temple Mount, home of both Solomon's Temple and the Dome of the Rock Mosque...Mr. Sharon's actions, in my opinion, were designed to incite anger among Palestinians and Muslims worldwide, who hold that the Temple Mount is Muslim holy ground (which it is, but that makes no excuse for the idiotic belief that just because it's holy to one religion, others should not be allowed on the site under penalty of death...the Prophet Muhammed once said, "You to your religion, and me to mine.") Ariel Sharon did not get to be a general in the Israeli army without being calculating.

The Palestinians' response was predictable and unfortunate - Yassir Arafat released a statement saying that Mr. Sharon's and the others' actions were an affront to Islam, and the current intifada was born.

Now that the history lesson is out of the way, Mr. Sharon is under fire, and has been for some time, for accepting bribes from an Israeli land developer by the name of David Appel. Mr. Appel was indicted today for bribing Mr. Sharon with hundreds of thousands of dollars - and I say it can't be soon enough.

The Israeli government's current iteration has not acted in a way that is in the best interests of its people since Mr. Sharon became Prime Minister. The government restricts the movement of Palestinians to an area that basically amounts to a few square miles of shanty-towns and refugee camps; the government orders military officials to fire on suspected and known terrorists, even while those folks are in a public place (you'd be surprised just how many children and innocent adults are killed in these strikes); the Israeli government even rations water for Palestinians but not for Israelis outside of the West Bank, for no reason at all (the average Palestinian has a water quota of 10% of what the average Israeli citizen uses).

These tactics, among others, do nothign to endear the government to the hearts of many people. The hawks in Israel, sure, they love Ariel Sharon, but not many other people do. Current soldiers in the Air Force are refusing to attack terrorists in Palestine, citing the high probability of civilian casualties. Former intelligence officers are saying that Sharon's and his government's policies are actually doing more harm than good. And, let's face it, Palestinians living in Israel's borders are not thrilled with the actions, either - rather than scaring the terrorists clean, Hamas is now one of the most revered organizations in Palestinian territory, and suicide bombers are cheered as they parade down the streets.

With all of this in mind, it's a very good thing that Prime Minister Sharon may be forced to step down and abandon power. Israel's security is at stake because Mr. Sharon acted in a way that he thought would improve it - iron fists do not allies make, and Israel does not need any more enemies than it already has. Perhaps someone with a solid head on his or her shoulders can take control of a government whose policies create hatred among a people that is oppressed, and maybe someday Israeli Jews and Palestinians can either find a peaceful one-state, or two-state, solution to a problem that Mr. Sharon has made only worse, rather than better.

A Parrot with its Head on Straight
Winston Churchill, a roly-poly balding guy who just happened to be Prime Minister of England, apparently kept a pet parrot named Charlie.

Parrots can live to be incredibly ancient, upwards of 150 years old. So it's no surprise that Churchill's pet parrot Charlie remains alive and kicking. And, as we all know, parrots can...uhm...parrot...us...right. Charlie, it seems, has a pair of favorite expressions: "Fuck the Nazis" and "Fuck Hitler."

Good for her!

Further, Charlie can apparently say these in Churchill's voice, which implies that Churchill himself said those expressions several times. Good to know he taught his bird right.

(read the story here

NFL Picks, Championship Round
You know, bad as the XFL was, it was football. You had guys in pads and disturbingly tight pants, and they ran at each other at what approximated breakneck speed and threw and caught and ran...and now it doesn't exist anymore.

Sad to say, the NFL season is almost the same...two weeks and one day and it'll all be gone - just a Super Bowl and a cloud of dust (probably coming from Kid Rock's limo) is all that remains after tomorrow.

Sad, no?

-Carolina at Philadelphia: Carolina will do everything it can to run at Philadelphia's defense, since Jake Delhomme is a good quarterback, but not really really good. Steven Davis's injured quadriceps will be a factor, since Philadelphia's run defense is really quite good EXCEPT up the gut, and his backup DeShaun Foster is a cut-to-the-outside type of runner. If Davis sees extended training table time, the running game against Philadelphia will suffer. On the flip side, Philly's wide receiving corps is as unspectacular and unheralded as Kansas City's without Dante Hall. Donovan McNabb is the guy who makes the passing game click, and without a constant rush and pressure on him, the Panthers do not stand a chance. They're good, but they won't get it, and the NFC representative is PHI.

-Indianapolis at New England: Peyton Manning is one of the best students of the game in modern memory, constantly surveying photographs and altering game plans to compete with a defense's idiosyncrasies (sorry, I just wanted to use that word). To wit, he even plays football, rather than just studying it. He is very good at exploiting blitzes, and Edgerrin James as a runner has very much matured since he blew up his knee - he now waits for blockers and sets them up very well. The Patriots offense will do everything they can to play off of Dwight Freeney, whose tendency to rush upfield without heed for actual play development is well-known. That, and Tom Brady is as good at throwing 18-yard passes as anyone else in the league, and Charlie Weis has designed a gastric staple-friendly offense that exploits Brady's middle-distance accuracy. This one will be far closer than the NFC game, but the result, as I predicted before the wildcards, will be NE in the Super Bowl.

Where do they find these kids, and why do they keep sending them to me?
I recently received a postcard in the mail from the IRS. Rather than picturesque scenes of Maui, it was a bland white card with black lettering. Here's the text:

Dear Taxpayer,

You recently received a 2003 1040 Forms and Instructions Booklet
which included a peel-off label with your name and address to be
used on your return. As a result of concerns that the peel-off label
may not peel off easily, we are providing you with an additional
label to use if needed. We want to apologize for any
inconvenience.

Alright, first off, never leave a line with only one word on it - that just looks awkward.

Secondly, if people are unable to correctly peel off the original label, why send out another one? Does the IRS really revel in making normal citizens look like fools twice? (don't answer that).

Thirdly, if you are too stupid to know how to peel off a label from an IRS booklet, how in the hell did you manage to survive up until a point where you are actually earning money in a real job? It's a label people. It's not that hard. And anyway, if you can't peel it off, just write in your freaking name.

I'm just waiting for the next postcard from the IRS:

Dear Taxpayer:

You're retarded.

There's only 7 games left!
The NFL's 2003 season winds to a close over the next three weeks, with only four games this weekend, two the next, and then the Super Bowl. The upside to this is that I can stop embarrasing myself with my truly pathetic football picks. The downside is that I now have to find one or two more topics per week to bore everyone with.

Enh.

Here are this week's games, in no particular order:
-Green Bay at Philadelphia: Green Bay is a team that's riding high after beating Seattle and Matt "We're gonna score!" Hasselbeck last week at Lambeau Field. The problem is that they're headed to Philadelphia to play an almost-healthy Eagles team that has every reason to want to win this game. Absent Brian Westbrook, this'll be close, but I'm leaning towards PHI
-Carolina at St. Louis: The Panthers aren't quite the surprise that people think they are, but this is a team that really isn't suited well to playing on turf: their DBs are just slightly above average and Steven Davis is not a guy who depends on speed for his running. I think the Rams' passing game is going to be the game-opener here. It'll probably be a slugfest, since the Rams defense isn't as good against the run as it ought to be for a playoff team, but STL will play next week.
-Indianapolis at Kansas City: Kansas City started this season 9-0, in good part because of lucky breaks and special teams. However, since the Cincinnati game, teams have learned that you can pound the ball at the center of the KC defense and beat them, without too much worry. Indianapolis has a very good back in Edgerrin James, in case you hadn't noticed, and Peyton's playing hot. All due respect to Dick Vermeil, but his defense in KC is far worse than the one that won him the Super Bowl after the 99 season. IND
-Tennessee at New England: Tennessee is a team that's more beat up than they're letting on: McNair is hobbled by two bad legs, and Eddie George suffered a dislocated left shoulder last week and yet is still playing. These guys are getting old, they're hurting, and this is not their year. New England is fresh, healthy, and riding a 12-game win streak to close the season. How can I argue with that? NE.

Iraq had no WMD, according to nonprofit
Read story here

Just thought I'd let my reader(s) see it.

Thankfully, there are always new lows to be reached
Congratulations to Representative Dennis Kucinich are in order. Now, he hasn't won any primaries yet, and I don't think he's won any recent awards that pop to mind, but still - he should be noticed and applauded.

In a recent exchange with current Democratic front-runner Howard Dean, Representative Kucinich pulled out a pie chart to demonstrate his point (regarding cutting the Pentagon's budget).

The problem?

It was radio broadcast only.

(story here.)

Great Sports Quotes, 2004 Edition
It's already happening - sports pundits and announcers are already making great statements on the air.

So far, American sports fans have already been blessed with these two great quotes:
"A little bit of haberdasheric gamesmanship, whatever the hell that means." -Al Michaels, regarding opponents' habit of making the Dallas Cowboys play in blue shirts rather than white shirts, causing the Cowboys to go into psychological meltdown since they no longer look like America's team.

"Well, all those folks in Oakland, they don't know what they're talking about." -Troy Aikman, on the Tuck Rule and the fact that fans in Oakland are still bitching that they didn't get a fumble call in New England two years ago.

I wonder what we'll get next?

Charlie Hustle = Johnny McWager
According to sources close to his new book, Pete Rose is apparently going to admit publicly, for the first time, that he gambled on baseball during his stint as a major-league player and manager, in what is an apparent attempt to get himself re-instated and eligible to work in baseball again.

I say good for him. But the problem is, what's next? Who is left in the sports world to admit that they cheated at something? Bill Romanowski?

Oh.

It's Playoff Time!
Well, the NFL Postseason is here, which means two things:
1) I can make fewer picks every week
2) The Arizona Cardinals' season is over.

Bearing both of those factors in mind, here are picks for this week's playoff games.
-Tennessee at Baltimore: Baltimore is a team that has survived on defense and the legs of Jamal Lewis. Behind those two factors, they should win the game. This is a tough game to call just because of McNair's moxie, but I'm going with BAL
-Dallas at Carolina: Everyone, even the Cowboys, know they've been playing above themselves. John Fox has done a masterful job in Charlotte, and it continues today. CAR
-Seattle at Green Bay: Seattle is 2-6 on the road this season, and they're playing against a stoked Green Bay team in the House Where Dreams Die. GB
-Denver at Indianapolis: Think that "Can't win when it counts" monkey ain't heavy on Peyton Manning's back? I'm sure it is. But Denver's been underwhelming all season, and now that Portis is injured, their chances just took a swan dive into the nearest RCA Dome toilet. IND

By the way, my early Super Bowl Pick? Philadelphia over New England.

What to do with Corey?
A lot of people, Bengals fans in particular, have been wondering precisely what the Bengals are going to do with their less-than-pleasant-to-be-around star running back, Corey Dillon. I got to thinking, and put together a team-by-team breakdown, a very simplistic one, for the entire NFL in an attempt to gauge interest around the league in Mr. Dillon. I posted it originally on a Bengals geek chat board; here it is again, for you, my dearest reader:

NFC East:
*Dallas*: Troy Hambrick is coming into his own, and Bill Parcells does not have a history of looking out for guys who don't give 100% on the field. No.
*New York Giants*: Tiki Barber fumbles like a two-year-old who just washed his hands with butter, and Ron Dayne is a nonfactor, which is no surprise given his work ethic. There is a good chance that a new coach may want a player to come in and threaten Tiki a little, as well as set a tone with the team that winning comes to those who play with fire, something which Corey has in good supply. Strong possible.
*Philadelphia*: Their three-headed monster seems like it's working, so I'm going to opt for no.
*Washington*: Steve Spurrier has announced that he's looking for more discipline out of his players, without mentioning names. That alone helps to rule out Corey, because he's not a guy who's known for showing up on time. Howver, none of his running backs are proven commodities yet, so there's a chance. Weak possible.
AFC East:
*Buffalo*: Willis MaGahee and Travis Henry. No.
*Miami*: Ricky Williams.
*New England*: Again, an RBBC that works. Plus, they had 14 wins without him. Barring a retirement or career-ending injury, no.
*New York Jets*: Curtis Martin is falling apart, or seemed like it, but he managed to find something deep within himself to keep his ankles upright midway through this season. He's only one year older than Dillon, and I don't see him being released for a guy who is functionally equivalent. No.
NFC North:
*Chicago*: Anthony Thomas. Plus, they have a good backup in Adrian Peterson, when he's healthy. No.
*Detroit*: This team needs a running back, and badly. Their wide receiver corps as a whole is unimpressive (Hakim is slightly above average, and Rogers is a force, but will be coming back from a bad injury). Olandis Gary and Shawn Bryson had unimpressive averages, at 3.4 and 3.8 YPC respectively. Gary is not as good as he looked in Denver, and Bryson isn't as good as Gary. Strong positive.
*Green Bay*: Ahman Green and Najeh Davenport will be there for a while. No.
*Minnesota*: This team has more backs than they know what to do with. Doug Chapman will be traded this offseason, and they'll still have three pretty good guys. No.
AFC North:
*Baltimore*: Jamal Lewis is the same style of runner as Corey Dillon, and apparently about 1.4 times as good. No.
*Cincinnati*: I will bet my next paycheck that Cincinnati will not make any trade offers in an attempt to get Corey Dillon.
*Cleveland:* I have no idea how Lee Suggs would do against a good defense, but I know it wouldn't be as all-pro as he looked against Cincinnati. But Jamel White is a good back...not great, but good. Weak possible, more likely a flat-out no.
*Pittsburgh*: Jerome Bettis is not a back who can carry games any more, and Amos Zereoue is obviously not the answer. Bettis may only be a couple of years older than Dillon, but if Pittsburgh can put a line together, then Dillon would be a very good fit in the Pittsburgh Legacy. Strong possible.
NFC South:
*Atlanta*: Rich McKay likes power runners, as evidenced by his picking up guys like Michael Pittman and Warrick Dunn. Dunn came to Atlanta, and now McKay is there too...but Dunn is not all that good. The Falcons tried to use a two-back approach and it didn't really work for either guy, and it didn't help out the team very much either - they never took the pressure off of Johnson or Kittner at QB. Vick opens up a running game all by himself, and Atlanta might be looking for a back. But they won't want Dillon, since he's older and wouldn't hold up as well on the astroturf. Weak possible.
*Carolina*: Stephen Davis is backed up by the almost-as-good DeShaun Foster. No.
*New Orleans*: Deuce. No.
*Tampa Bay*: This is an interesting possibility, since Thomas Jones and Michael Pittman are both unimpressive players. The Buccaneers showed what happens to champs with no running games once Alstott got hurt, and it wasn't pretty. Gruden, I think, has lost faith in both of his backs, so he'll be shopping, that's for sure. Corey Dillon fits into the Tampa Bay mindset of hitting everything. If Gruden thinks he can re-teach Dillon how to run the god damned ball, Dillon would be a good three-year solution to their running problems. Plus, the turf is good there. Yes, they will make a play for CD.
AFC South:
*Houston*: Domanick Davis proved his worth this season, and he's only a rookie. Stacey Mack will be there for a couple more years, at least, as a goal-line specialist. No.
*Indianapolis*: Edgerrin James is far younger than CD. I believe his injury problems are a result of the Hoosier Dome (I will never call it the RCA Dome) turf, and I don't see the Colts looking for an older guy who's started to wear down. Not likely.
*Jacksonville*: Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala is, I'm sure, a stand-up guy, but is not a particularly good running threat. Fred Taylor is falling apart - there's a reason he's called Fragile Freddy. This is a team that might look for a new starter, and CD would do well for a team that wants to protect their investment in Byron Leftwich. If they can cut ties with Taylor, it's a Strong Possible.
*Tennessee*: Eddie George is another guy who's only one year older than Dillon, but is falling apart. Tennessee will look for another running back in the draft, not through a trade or FA. No.
NFC West:
*Arizona*: Marcell Shipp is too good a guy to ignore, and look for whoever the new coach is to keep him as the starter and tell Bill Bidwell, privately, to go **** a donkey if he's asked to start Emmitt again. No.
*St. Louis*: Marshall Faulk is older, but still a very good football player, and still in relatively good shape. If he can get well-rested this season, and if the Rams can find a way to play more games off of turf than this year, he'll stay healthy. No.
*San Francisco*: Kevan Barlow is a free agent this offseason, but has expressed an interest in staying on the bay. Garrison Hearst is still pretty good, and when they split up, they're a nice pair. No.
*Seattle*: Maybe. Shaun Alexander is a very good back, but he has said he'd be willing to play in Cincinnati. Corey is from Seattle, so he may be willing to take a pay cut to go home again. If the Seahawks and Bengals can work out a trade (Corey plus picks for Alexander alone), and the Bengals can figure out what to do with Rudi Johnson, this is a strong possible.
AFC West:
*Denver*: Mike Shanahan produces good backs like I produce turds. No.
*Kansas City*: With the NFL record-holder for TDs in a season already in their backfield? No.
*Oakland*: Not likely, although now that Bill Callahan is as good as gone, heaven only knows what could happen on that side of the bay. I don't think Al Davis would be dumb enough to go for a malcontent like Corey, especially after the season he's just had with players voicing their displeasure. So, I'll go out on a limb and say no.
*San Diego*: Marty Schottenheimer will be there next season, and he's not exactly Corey's type of coach. Plus, LaDanian Tomlinson will probably only get better. No.

So I guess the only teams that are good shots to look at Corey are NYG, DET, PIT, TB, JAX, and SEA. The last two will only make a run at Corey if they can figure out what to do with their incumbents.

Tough luck for Corey Dillon, but it's not exactly his market right now.

Further Proof that Global Warming is Real
What the hell? It's supposed to be 71 degrees (Fahrenheit) today here in St. Louis.

Just to be clear, last I checked, today's date was the Second of January. This is not normal.

Happy New Year
Just thought I'd say it.