What to do with Corey?
A lot of people, Bengals fans in particular, have been wondering precisely what the Bengals are going to do with their less-than-pleasant-to-be-around star running back, Corey Dillon. I got to thinking, and put together a team-by-team breakdown, a very simplistic one, for the entire NFL in an attempt to gauge interest around the league in Mr. Dillon. I posted it originally on a Bengals geek chat board; here it is again, for you, my dearest reader:

NFC East:
*Dallas*: Troy Hambrick is coming into his own, and Bill Parcells does not have a history of looking out for guys who don't give 100% on the field. No.
*New York Giants*: Tiki Barber fumbles like a two-year-old who just washed his hands with butter, and Ron Dayne is a nonfactor, which is no surprise given his work ethic. There is a good chance that a new coach may want a player to come in and threaten Tiki a little, as well as set a tone with the team that winning comes to those who play with fire, something which Corey has in good supply. Strong possible.
*Philadelphia*: Their three-headed monster seems like it's working, so I'm going to opt for no.
*Washington*: Steve Spurrier has announced that he's looking for more discipline out of his players, without mentioning names. That alone helps to rule out Corey, because he's not a guy who's known for showing up on time. Howver, none of his running backs are proven commodities yet, so there's a chance. Weak possible.
AFC East:
*Buffalo*: Willis MaGahee and Travis Henry. No.
*Miami*: Ricky Williams.
*New England*: Again, an RBBC that works. Plus, they had 14 wins without him. Barring a retirement or career-ending injury, no.
*New York Jets*: Curtis Martin is falling apart, or seemed like it, but he managed to find something deep within himself to keep his ankles upright midway through this season. He's only one year older than Dillon, and I don't see him being released for a guy who is functionally equivalent. No.
NFC North:
*Chicago*: Anthony Thomas. Plus, they have a good backup in Adrian Peterson, when he's healthy. No.
*Detroit*: This team needs a running back, and badly. Their wide receiver corps as a whole is unimpressive (Hakim is slightly above average, and Rogers is a force, but will be coming back from a bad injury). Olandis Gary and Shawn Bryson had unimpressive averages, at 3.4 and 3.8 YPC respectively. Gary is not as good as he looked in Denver, and Bryson isn't as good as Gary. Strong positive.
*Green Bay*: Ahman Green and Najeh Davenport will be there for a while. No.
*Minnesota*: This team has more backs than they know what to do with. Doug Chapman will be traded this offseason, and they'll still have three pretty good guys. No.
AFC North:
*Baltimore*: Jamal Lewis is the same style of runner as Corey Dillon, and apparently about 1.4 times as good. No.
*Cincinnati*: I will bet my next paycheck that Cincinnati will not make any trade offers in an attempt to get Corey Dillon.
*Cleveland:* I have no idea how Lee Suggs would do against a good defense, but I know it wouldn't be as all-pro as he looked against Cincinnati. But Jamel White is a good back...not great, but good. Weak possible, more likely a flat-out no.
*Pittsburgh*: Jerome Bettis is not a back who can carry games any more, and Amos Zereoue is obviously not the answer. Bettis may only be a couple of years older than Dillon, but if Pittsburgh can put a line together, then Dillon would be a very good fit in the Pittsburgh Legacy. Strong possible.
NFC South:
*Atlanta*: Rich McKay likes power runners, as evidenced by his picking up guys like Michael Pittman and Warrick Dunn. Dunn came to Atlanta, and now McKay is there too...but Dunn is not all that good. The Falcons tried to use a two-back approach and it didn't really work for either guy, and it didn't help out the team very much either - they never took the pressure off of Johnson or Kittner at QB. Vick opens up a running game all by himself, and Atlanta might be looking for a back. But they won't want Dillon, since he's older and wouldn't hold up as well on the astroturf. Weak possible.
*Carolina*: Stephen Davis is backed up by the almost-as-good DeShaun Foster. No.
*New Orleans*: Deuce. No.
*Tampa Bay*: This is an interesting possibility, since Thomas Jones and Michael Pittman are both unimpressive players. The Buccaneers showed what happens to champs with no running games once Alstott got hurt, and it wasn't pretty. Gruden, I think, has lost faith in both of his backs, so he'll be shopping, that's for sure. Corey Dillon fits into the Tampa Bay mindset of hitting everything. If Gruden thinks he can re-teach Dillon how to run the god damned ball, Dillon would be a good three-year solution to their running problems. Plus, the turf is good there. Yes, they will make a play for CD.
AFC South:
*Houston*: Domanick Davis proved his worth this season, and he's only a rookie. Stacey Mack will be there for a couple more years, at least, as a goal-line specialist. No.
*Indianapolis*: Edgerrin James is far younger than CD. I believe his injury problems are a result of the Hoosier Dome (I will never call it the RCA Dome) turf, and I don't see the Colts looking for an older guy who's started to wear down. Not likely.
*Jacksonville*: Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala is, I'm sure, a stand-up guy, but is not a particularly good running threat. Fred Taylor is falling apart - there's a reason he's called Fragile Freddy. This is a team that might look for a new starter, and CD would do well for a team that wants to protect their investment in Byron Leftwich. If they can cut ties with Taylor, it's a Strong Possible.
*Tennessee*: Eddie George is another guy who's only one year older than Dillon, but is falling apart. Tennessee will look for another running back in the draft, not through a trade or FA. No.
NFC West:
*Arizona*: Marcell Shipp is too good a guy to ignore, and look for whoever the new coach is to keep him as the starter and tell Bill Bidwell, privately, to go **** a donkey if he's asked to start Emmitt again. No.
*St. Louis*: Marshall Faulk is older, but still a very good football player, and still in relatively good shape. If he can get well-rested this season, and if the Rams can find a way to play more games off of turf than this year, he'll stay healthy. No.
*San Francisco*: Kevan Barlow is a free agent this offseason, but has expressed an interest in staying on the bay. Garrison Hearst is still pretty good, and when they split up, they're a nice pair. No.
*Seattle*: Maybe. Shaun Alexander is a very good back, but he has said he'd be willing to play in Cincinnati. Corey is from Seattle, so he may be willing to take a pay cut to go home again. If the Seahawks and Bengals can work out a trade (Corey plus picks for Alexander alone), and the Bengals can figure out what to do with Rudi Johnson, this is a strong possible.
AFC West:
*Denver*: Mike Shanahan produces good backs like I produce turds. No.
*Kansas City*: With the NFL record-holder for TDs in a season already in their backfield? No.
*Oakland*: Not likely, although now that Bill Callahan is as good as gone, heaven only knows what could happen on that side of the bay. I don't think Al Davis would be dumb enough to go for a malcontent like Corey, especially after the season he's just had with players voicing their displeasure. So, I'll go out on a limb and say no.
*San Diego*: Marty Schottenheimer will be there next season, and he's not exactly Corey's type of coach. Plus, LaDanian Tomlinson will probably only get better. No.

So I guess the only teams that are good shots to look at Corey are NYG, DET, PIT, TB, JAX, and SEA. The last two will only make a run at Corey if they can figure out what to do with their incumbents.

Tough luck for Corey Dillon, but it's not exactly his market right now.