Kickass!
Or, more accurately, "kickwall!"

I broke my toe this morning by accidentally walking into a wall. Party on!

I'm a Pervert!
That's right, I took the Dante's Inferno test, and I scored pretty high in the "Lustful" category.

Unfortunately, it seems that I also scored pretty high in the "Malicous/fraudulent" category. Maybe it's because I'm a lying sack of crap. Not sure, though...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished Brian to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how Brian matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test.

It's Turkey Day!
That's right, tomorrow's the day when I get to eat more than a small elephant, sleep until Friday around 4, and basically bumble my way through the weekend.

Oh, yeah...and there's lots and lots of football. Ha ha!


Thursday:
-Indianapolis at Detroit - Remember, Detroit is better on the road than at home. IND
-Chicago at Dallas - So, Bill Parcells was a genius last year, but a moron this year? How is that fair? It's not. But Lovie Smith's bears will reduce the Cowboys to a 3-8 team this weekend. CHI

Sunday
-Cleveland at Cincinnati - Word is that a loss to the Bengals will get Cleveland coach Butch Davis fired. It's even odds that Browns players don't play that hard this week. CIN
-Jacksonville at Minnesota - Randy Moss will be back, and even if he's just an ornament, he's still deserving of double coverage. The return of Byron Leftwich means pretty much nothing. MIN
-Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants - The Eagles are 9-1, and the Giants are going to flounder without Warner at the helm. Tom Coughlin made the single worst decision of the NFL season, by any team, to bench Kurty. PHI
-San Diego at Kansas City - Yeah, the Chargers are a bandwagon team. What can I say? I was wrong about Marty. SD
-Tampa Bay at Carolina - Well, the Panthers DID run wild over the Cardinals last week, but come on! It's Joe Jurevicious! TB
-Tennessee at Houston - The Texans played a pretty good game for 30 minutes last week. Sez here they'll play for 45 minutes this week. HOU
-Washington at Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh is the league's best team. Ben Roethlisberger could go 9-0 as a starter...9-0! As a rookie! PIT
-New Orleans at Atlanta - Aaron Brooks, this is the unemployment line. Courtesy of your cousin, Michael Vick. ATL
-Baltimore at New England - OK, so maybe the Patriots are the NFL's best team. Either way, the Ravens have no running back. NE
-Buffalo at Seattle - Buffalo continues its romp against hte NFC West. That's a division where it's not the best team, but the team that's least bad that gets the playoff bid. BUF
-Miami at San Francisco - This isn't football...this is pain. MIA
-N.Y. Jets at Arizona - Told you he wasn't that bad. Go Q! NYJ
-Oakland at Denver - The AFC west's second-place position is pretty much locked up in this game. DEN

Monday
-St.Louis at Green Bay - Even without Ahman Green, it's really hard to pick the Rams to win this game...coming off a blowout to the freaking BILLS, the Rams are going to have a hard time getting up for the rest of the season. GB

Wow...I'm calling it as a rough day for the NFC West (0-4 this week)

Fine, Thanks. How are You?
You know, I was having a pretty good day until I dipped my tie into a bowl of chili.

NFL Picks, week 11
Well, Ron Artest has been involved in another incident on an NBA court, and Rasheed Wallace was acting as a peacemaker. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

-Arizona at Carolina - Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes retooling your offensive line can create a winning atmosphere...and sometimes it creates the 2004 Carolina Panthers. ARI
-Dallas at Baltimore - Dallas continues its slide against the AFC North. Who would have thought that this was a division that would give America's Team hell? BAL
-Denver at New Orleans - Maybe the Saints don't need a new stadium...maybe they need a new coach. DEN
-Detroit at Minnesota - Detroit is actually better on the road this season than at home, which is pretty surprising considering they came into the season with an 0-24 road record over the last three seasons. But Minnesota is a different house, even without Randy Moss. MIN
-Indianapolis at Chicago - Lovie Smith is going to be a good coach. But Tony Dungy, distracted as he is by complaining about Nicollete Sheridan's nudity, is also a good coach and has a better squad. IND
-N.Y. Jets at Cleveland - Five Words: Quincy Carter ain't that bad. NYJ
-Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - I'd like to make this my upset of the week...but I won't. PIT
-San Francisco at Tampa Bay - I will not pick the Niners to win until 2007. TB
-St. Louis at Buffalo - I look at this game, and I see Marc Bulger, who is historically careless with the football, taking on the number 5 defense in the league. This is not a hard choice. BUF (upset special!)
-Tennessee at Jacksonville - Steve McNair says he's coming back...I say David Garrard is healthy. And that Chris Brown still ain't. JAX
-Miami at Seattle - The Dolphins, having made their 45th QB change of the season, are a little bit adrift. Is anyone surprised by this? SEA
-San Diego at Oakland - Drew Brees has six times as many touchdowns as interceptions. Six! LaDanian Tomlinson has a strained groin, but no worries - they're not playing a real football team this week. SD
-Atlanta at N.Y. Giants - The Giants offensive line gave up 24 sacks in the last 4 games, which translates to 96 over the season. Those five players are the reason that the G-Men offense sputtered, and they're going to give up 7 sacks this week against Atlanta. Look for Eli Manning to wish he were in San Diego. ATL
-Washington at Philadelphia - The Bengals exposed the Redskins last week, and almost pitched their first road shutout in who knows how long. Philadelphia shouldn't have any trouble either. PHI
-Green Bay at Houston - This is the first time these two teams have met - and the Texans are in for a world of hurt. Brett Favre's mom has a stomach bug, so it's all over for the Moo-cows. GB

Monday
-New England at Kansas City - Kansas City's defense is actually worse than last year. Is that possible? How can that be? No matter. Corey Dillon is still running the ball, and the Chiefs still don't know how to tackle. Ooh! THAT'S what's wrong! NE

Why Wasn't This on CNN?
The Jack Russell Terrier, named for John Russell of England, has been renamed the Parson Russell Terrier to reflect Mr. Russell's capacity in English society. He was, of course, a parson.

This was made effective April 1, 2003.

Why the hell didn't anyone tell me this?

A paradigm shift?
Well, this week's NFL games are 93% complete, and unless my exit polls are flawed, Chris and I have tied so far with an 7-6 record, with one game to go. Lucas, for his part, has blown us both away, going 9-4 with one to go.

We've all chosen Philadelphia to win, so no matter what, Lucas has gained two games on the Chris Hill Festival, and I'm static at 5 games back.

Where's that 14-win week I need?

NFL Picks, week 9
-Baltimore at N.Y. Jets - This is actually a very tough pick. Both teams have been playing well, but I just think the Jets are a little bit better this year. NYJ
-Chicago at Tennessee - A head-to-head matchup between a disappointment with an injured running back, and an up-and-comer with...a 2-0 Craig Krenzel? TEN
-Detroit at Jacksonville - While Jacksonville has slid a bit, people are forgetting that they still have a very good defense, and that Detroit's starting RB hasn't really established himself yet. And he's a rookie. JAX
-Houston at Indianapolis - This game probably determines this year's winner of the AFC South. Houston's looking to kick over .500 again, and Indy's looking to reestablish themselves. IND
-Kansas City at New Orleans - This is a good time to view the KC team of old. KC
-Pittsburgh at Cleveland - Gerard Warren has suggested that he'll risk a fine to go at Ben Roethlisberger's head. I'm sorry, but if you're a first-round bust pick who's constantly injured, why do you have the right to talk smack? PIT
-Seattle at St. Louis - Seattle walks away with the NFC west this week. Mike Martz goes under .500 for the first time since 2000. The world rejoices. SEA
-Tampa Bay at Atlanta - An NFC South match to extend Atlanta's division lead. Nice. Oh, and Jon Gruden looking angry. That'll be fun, too.ATL
-Cincinnati at Washington - Remember how I said that Joe Gibbs had a long road ahead of him? It's shorter than Marvin Lewis's. WAS
-Carolina at San Francisco - Can I call this a tie? No? Are you sure? So, 0-0 isn't possible? Geez. CAR
-Minnesota at Green Bay - No Moss means no easy games. GB
-N.Y. Giants at Arizona - Things it feels weird to say: "I was born with two penises," and "The Giants have stuck with Kurt Warner through week 10." NYG
-Buffalo at New England - Willis MaGahee would earn a trade for Travis Henry if he can run for 100 yards this week against a stout New England defense. But can Bledsoe continue to stand up under the beating he's been earning behind the Buffalo offensive line? I doubt it. NE

Monday
-Philadelphia at Dallas - I respect Bill Parcells for coming out last week and admitting that he had a part in the Cowboys' loss to Cincinnati. But respect don't win games. Talent, drive, and luck do. PHI

A Few Words I Don't Think We Use Enough
Since English is such a flexible language, it grows by leaps and bounds with every passing day - Oxford thinks there may be as many as three quarters of a million different words (including inflections) that could be considered English. (here).

So, of course, there are a few words we're likely to stop using. The average English speaker (who's likely not to have learned English as a first language, since 52% of English speakers didn't) recognize 10,000 words or so; the average native recognizes about 20,000.

So here are a few words I think we should use a bit more often:
1) Brobdignagian - Big. Really, really big.
2) Tomfoolery - Unadvisable behavior.
3) Unadvisable - Uhm....yeah.
4) Philistine - Smug, ignorant person. Best used by Daffy Duck.
5) Offal - Cast-off innards, or undesirable byproducts.
6) Jezebel - Scheming, greedy woman.
7) Apoptotic - Of or relating to programmed cell death. There has GOT to be a way to work this into everyday conversation.
8) Drudgery - Menial labor. Unexciting activities.
9) Hoar - Frost that forms sharp white crystals out of doors. See also: Canada. Can also be used as a color.
10) Defunct - Kaput.

So there's 10 words for you that you should try to use more often. It makes other people feel stupid, which is a nice feeling.

Here we go
Well, my other blog is now officially open to the public.

Feel free to visit it at savethedemocrats.blogspot.com

Critiques are, of course, welcome.

By the way, a note: Once again, I finished 8-6 on this weekend's NFL games. It would be nice, I admit, to actually come out with a double-digit week this season; partly because I'd need all I can get in order to overtake Chris. Alternatively, he's welcome to have a couple of 0-fer weeks.

Back to Normal (Visually, at Least)
I received a question not that long ago about why I have so many words capitalized in my post titles. The answer is simple: "It's how I was taught to do it."

When I was in elementary school, our librarian Mrs. Williams (who had a habit of eating crackers before class, giving her voice that dry-yet-mushy sound that makes you want to swallow a lot) spent a week, I think in my first grade year, talking about card catalogs and how to use them. One of the things we learned was why things are capitalized in titles, and how to do it yourself.

We learned that pronouns, nouns, verbs, adverbs, and most adjectives are always capitalized, as is the first and last word of a title. Words like "the," "of," "and," all forms of "a," and "an" were never capitalized, except as first and last words.

So there you go. Now, on to the NFL picks, week 9!

-Arizona at Miami - This is one of those games that's hard to pick, because both teams have so many things wrong with them. But I'm going to have to lean away from the Dolphins, just because they still have no running game, and the Cards have Boldin back. ARI
-Dallas at Cincinnati - The Cowboys have no running game, no wide receivers worth all taht much, and Vinny Testaverde is among the oldest men in football. However, the Bengals got two days off this week, after last week's mental lapses in Tennessee. Sorry, can't chose the Bungs. DAL
-Kansas City at Tampa Bay - After last week's hold-on-to-your-colon victory over the Colts, the Chiefs have to be flying high. It's all about momentum. KC
-N.Y. Jets at Buffalo - Willis MaGahee scored teh Bills' first rushing touchdown of the season. Last week. NYJ
-Oakland at Carolina - In a matchup of the last two Super Bowl nonwinners, the team with the edge is the one that doesn't start Brad Hoover. OAK
-Philadelphia at Pittsburgh - Ben Roethlisberger showed me precisely what I was missing as a Bengals fan this season - wide receivers, a tight end who can catch, and a running game that gets established and used. As my penance, I'm picking the Eagles to lose. PIT
-Washington at Detroit - Joe Gibbs, you have a lot of work ahead of you. DET
-Chicago at N.Y. Giants - Eli Manning remains on the bench. The Bears showed some good stuff last week, but I really don't think they have what it takes this week to take down a team that isn't the 49ers. NYG
-New Orleans at San Diego - The Saints just aren't that good this season. Which really should come as no surprise, since they're rarely all that great. But what sort of winter swoon can you have when you're already 3-4? SD
-Seattle at San Francisco - Fullbacks generally aren't all that flashy or media savvy. So when yours comes out to the media and says that the team doesn't want to win, and isn't professional, it's a sign that you, as a coach, have lost the team. It's another laugher that'll be another shutout, methinks. SEA
-Houston at Denver - The Broncos have GOT to be smarting from two straight losses. And I can't really accept the idea that the Texans are 4-3. If they spend too long over .500, the world might end. DEN
-New England at St. Louis - Well, Corey Dillon always wanted to feel important, to feel like his efforts mean something. Last week, he was out, and the Steelers ended the Patriots' win streak. This week, he'll be out, and.... STL
-Cleveland at Baltimore - Jamal Lewis is back, and he's hungry. BAL
Monday
-Minnesota at Indianapolis - After last week's hold-on-to-your-colon loss, the Colts have got to be pretty peeved. Five touchdown passes, 499 yards passing, and Peyton Manning loses? That's just not right. And the Vikings have been exposed as a team with no smarts above the neck. IND

Two Things of Note
Firstly, I've finally added some formatting to my post titles. Nifty, huh? I might leave them bold, I might not. We'll see how that goes.

EDIT: Removed the formatting. Didn't look good. Didn't want to mess with it.

Anyway, secondly, I was reading the Drudge Report, and I noticed a Terry McAuliffe quote from an article on BlackPressUSA.com, saying, and I'm quoting here from the article:

"This party is stronger than its ever been. Were in the best financial shape," he says. "We now have, unlike four years ago, millions and millions of new supporters of this party. We're debt-free for the first time ever and were beginning to build towards 2008."

Did I read that right?

Terry, I know you're a good guy and all (actually, I don't know that, but whatever), but dude, it's time to stop living in fantasy pink world, or wherever the hell you are. Your presidential candidate lost, giving George W. Bush his first truly legitimate election victory for the White House, and you lost seats in both houses of Congress. Oh, yeah, and you only broke even in gubernatorial races.

Stronger than it's ever been? I don't want to be mean, but how much did the party suck before?

(Here's the article)

I've Fallen Prey to My Own Hubris
Well, I've been thinking about it for quite a while, actually, and so I've decided to create another weblog - this one dedicated entirely to my own ideas on various political topics.

I'm not quite ready to unveil it, yet, but I will...and when I do, I think you'll all be unpleasantly surprised.

I Thought We Learned This Lesson Already
One of the biggest critiques of election-night coverage in the year 2000 was that so many of the media's "calls" of states going to one major candidate or another were so far off-base...and that they were based on exit polling that was flawed. As a matter of fact, the company that the major networks used in their exit polling in 2000 has since gone under (Voter News Service had problems with its 2002 polls as well, which might have been a contributing factor).

However, I've been watching Chris Matthews on Hardball all night, and MSNBC keeps making these ludicrous calls on states like Kansas, Louisiana, Montana, and New Mexico...saying, "These states all seem to have gone for Bush."

What Matthews failed to point out, but which was obvious to anyone reading the screen, is that there had been no votes tabulated in those states yet.

None.

Zero.

What, is there only one voter in Nebraska and he's STILL trying to make up his mind?

The TV pundits don't seem to have a hard time finding ways to jabber on about nothing in particular on slow news days; I shouldn't think it would be hard for them to find something to jabber on about on days when we're deciding the very future of the United States of America. It's not as if they're lacking for stories anywa....wait...I'm getting something from my producers...This just in - the single registered voter in Kansas has just gone for Jimmy Buffett in a HUGE upset.