Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Maybe A Flat Tax Ain't Such a Bad Idea After All
Brian and Kirsten (April 2011): Dear IRS, we owe you $176. Please find enclosed check for same. Love, us.

IRS (May 2011): Dear Brian and Kirsten, you owe us $1097. Please enclose check for same. All the best, IRS.

Brian and Kirsten (May 2011): Dear IRS, We believe your math is off. Enclosed is proof. Please review. Thank you, us.

IRS (May 2011): We have graciously granted you a three-month reprieve. We will not contact you during this period. We will not provide you with more information if you contact us. We are benevolence personified. Yours, IRS.

IRS (August 2011): Dear Brian and Kirsten, you owe us $1097 plus $4 interest on unpaid bills. You must enclose check for same. IRS.

Brian and Kirsten (August 2011): Have you reviewed our previous return for errors which we believe you have made? Love, us.

IRS (August 2011): No.

Brian and Kirsten (August 2011): We would much appreciate a completion of this review, if you would kindly do so. Love, us.

IRS (August 2011): Hey, deadbeats: Due to the overwhelming glory contained within our soul, which if viewed with the naked eye would melt your retinas and cause your heart to swell with pride and burst, we have consented to a three-month extension to pay your unpaid bill.

Brian and Kirsten (August 2011): Thank....you?

IRS (November 2011): Listen up, you ungrateful fuckwits. You now owe us about $1105, which we can withhold from your paycheck,or which we can squeeze from your lifeless corpses in blood. Either way is fine.

Brian and Kirsten (November 2011): ....

IRS (November 2011): We have completed our review of your tax return for the previous year and have adjusted it. We have found errors which we have corrected, and which result in you having a remaining tax bill of $0. We are grateful to have served you. Love, IRS


OpenID starrypurplehaze said...

Something similar to this happened to Nick...except they weren't willing to fix his situation. :P

11/08/2011 09:19:00 AM  

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