On Vaca

So I'm here in Canton, Ohio, preparing to drive back to St. Louis. I've been visiting my grandmother for the last few days, helping her do some housework before she prepares to sell it and move into a smaller plcae (currently she has a four-bedroom three-bath three-story house that is so old it was once heated by coal - in fact, the coal chute is still intsalled on the back of the house).

Anyway, she has a pretty fast internet connection, and a neat little laptop. I recommend the Toshiba Satellite as a fine machine.

One advantage of this fast internet connection is that I don't have to be disconnected from the world. When I visit my folks in Charleston, that's not the case. It's like West Virginia is some sort of backwards state or something.

Anyway, here's a neat YouTube video I caught wind of this morning:


Fun stuff. I especially like the music.

Kirsten Quote of the Day

So Kirsten and I are watching Robocop tonight on Spike's late night show, and Kirsten gets a good long look at Peter Weller's face.

"Has he done porn? He looks like he has a porn actor face."

Shameless Commerce Department

Titled as such to avoid complaints that I'm stealing from Car Talk on NPR, and their "Shameless Commerce Division." See, I'm different.

Anyway, Brian is selling shirts at cafepress.com. Here's my newest work:


Tell your friends.

The thing about Cafe Press (and I don't want any of my readers to buy this shirt, this is really just me gloating) is that you can actually make money without doing any real work. I put out a bunch of Pluto shirts in October (Link) and they were well-timed enough that for maybe 20 minutes' work, I made 150 dollars in profit. I imagine folks who actually worked harder on their stuff made more, but whatever. This was easier and I could do it during my lunch break.

Anyway, thought I'd show off my mad skillz at political parody. Maybe now Jon Stewart will start answering my letters.

Long Time No Rant

Yes, I know it's been a while since I updated, and I still haven't come up with a good way to describe my Mardi Gras vacation that I promised. Suffice it to say that there was no debauchery. I'll come back to it, I swear.

Anyway, a few things have come up since last I regaled you with my wit and charm:
Firstly, when is the best time to belch? I mean, a real, huge, blow-out-the-windows-down-the-street ripper? I have a few suggestions:
Act I, Scene I of Richard the Third:
"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of YOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKK"

Bruce Campbell's great monologue in Army of Darkness:
"Now listen up you primitive screwheads. This is my BOOOOOOMMstick."
This is best done with a shotgun, if you have one. Wave it about menacingly.

Prince's "When Doves Cry:"
"Why do we scream at each other? / This is what it sounds like / When doves CRRROWWWWP"

Moving on.

Secondly, I've noticed that Kirsten has body image issues - mainly, she's not comfortable showing skin. This is a shame, because as I'm sure many of you have guessed, I'm attracted to her. Sexually-like. I mean, I *am* marrying her, and it's not arranged or anything, so I probably should find her attractive.

By the way, kudos to those who have arranged marriages with pretty members of the opposite sex. I know of one guy in particular, and dude: Good for you.

Back to the topic, Kirsten and I went out on St. Patrick's day for a late dinner of beer, corned beef, seconds of beer, cabbage, and potatoes. Good Irish fare from an American perspective. I managed to convince Kirsten (part of it was her own doing, since she'd bought the skirt specifically for the evening) to go out in a daringly short green plaid miniskirt. And I think it was good for her to be stared at like a piece of meat by people she doesn't see every day. I don't know that it was, and I'm certainly willing to hear an opinion to the contrary, but I'd take the guess that every now and then a girl has to feel like she's pretty to someone other than the guy who she's sleeping with.

Just my thoughts.

And, finally: my house has issues. But, in a related note, I have a new vacuum cleaner, a little Shark job, and it does the work it's supposed to. So maybe every cloud has a tin lining, after all.