I'm not Wearing any Pants

When you're done being sick: Merry Christmas!

Well, it Could Be Worse

Kirsten's been sick lately, with a bug we think she may have caught from the Starbucks at the Galleria Mall. She and her friend both have the same symptoms of the illness, and they only time they spent together was at the mall, and the only food they ate was at the Starbucks there. So, while it's admittedly a guess, it's fairly logical.

Food poisoning, for me, is always a weird thing. There are actually two types: food-borne toxins and food-borne pathogens. Toxins are what you get when a food product is allowed to reach growth temperature (it cools down or heats up to the 40-160-degree fahrenheit range) and bacteria grow, producing nasty byproducts. Then the food is reheated or re-cooled, and the wee beasties die. But the toxins remain, and so when someone eats the food, they get sick, and do so quickly. Something like that happened in Philadelphia a few years ago, and made a bunch of kids sick.

The other kind, food-borne pathogens, are just what they sound like - the critter grows, you eat the food while the critter is still alive, and eventually it reproduces enough to make you sick. Every E. coli outbreak in the world happens like this.

Actually, the second kind is the reason that the first thing I learned in Boy Scouts about camping was to filter your water. Deer carry a parasite called Giardia, which is a nasty little critter. The best part about the symptoms is this bit:

Symptoms of infection include (in order of frequency) diarrhea, malaise, excessive gas (often flatulence or a foul or sulphuric-tasting belch, which has been known to be so nauseating in taste that it can cause the infected person to vomit).

South Park did a great episode on diarrhea a few years ago, which thankfully is now available as a fully-downloadable free episode at the South Park website. Click on "Full Episodes," then "Season 1," then "Death."

Hilarious. Disgusting, but hilarious.

I'm Thinking Nudity

As mankind looks back over the television age, one of the things they'll probably ignore (except Kevin Nealon, but that's just because he can't get work elsewhere) is the evolution of TV commercials.

Back in the early days, commercials were often built into television programs, the same way many are built into radio programs today - the host would take a break to talk about how great Parliament Cigarettes were, for example. Then they'd come right back.

Eventually, television commercials were broadcast as a cut-in, filmed with different people and repeated ad nauseum until the union contract (usually 13 weeks) ran out for those actors.

And commercials gained their own cachet, too - with well-known directors, and recognizable actors, and big budgets. And they got something else - they got funny. No more do we just see kids talking about how great Life cereal is, even if Mikey does like it. Now, commercials are often designed to cause uproarious laughter, because ad agencies seem to think we connect laughter with the brand name - maybe they're right. Think about Bud Light - or Budweiser's frogs.

And that brings up Arby's newest offering. Apparently, to Arby's, sex is funny too.

As an aside, I'd rather have Kirsten dress up in a Wendy's uniform - melted cheese sauce gets a bit messy.

Back on topic, the commercial that I really WANT to find, but haven't been able to yet, is one that involves a car, a banana peel, and the tagline, "Buckle up, it's awesome!"

Yet Another Good Reason to Learn Japanese

Besides finally being able to understand what's going on in those tentacle porn movies, I mean.

Not that I watch those. Or know what it is. Or have ever heard of it.

Look! Behind you! A well-timed diversion!

*phew*

Moving on, I discovered this YouTube video today, while I'm supposed to be hard at work on my business trip to Pittsburgh.

It's like a Japanese version of Josephine!