This Old Hovel

So we're finally getting our roof replaced.

Why?

Because it was fucked up. See below for more:
Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4 (featuring parts of three roofers)

ome of those images show a hint of the destruction. The roof joists ("joyces," as one of the roofers insists on calling them) were actually resting on the ceiling rafters of the rooms below. Of course, that's to be expected - the house is 100 years old, and those roof joists are original to the structure.

In the fourth image you can see some of the old insulators that were put in when the house was wired for electricity in the 1920s - look at the joist in the center. Those things are part of old-school "knob and tube" wiring. Ask your grandparents. Then ask them how, later, man discovered fire.

Some of the original decking was salvaged, and the joists were sistered to new beams.
Pic 5
Pic 6
Pic 7

And, of course, the old roofing had to go:
Pic 8
Pic 9

All this for only 4 grand.

A Meaningless Post

Two things.

Firstly, has anyone really taken a look at what astronauts wear when out-of-doors? It's not flannel (tragedy, that), but this complex system of underwear and compression clothing and a self-contained air conditioner more commonly called a space suit.

American space suits tend to be these bland, solid white jobs with shiny visors (that's gold leaf, yo) to keep the sun from blinding the astronauts.

The Chinese, on the other hand, have these stylish white-and-blue striped jobs that harken back to the days of the navy.

They look much better.

But I'm holding out hope for the Bio-Suit, an MIT creation. Among other things, It's skin-tight. Schwing!

Also, Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan have both come out of the closet, to the surprise of prescisely zero people.

Manbits Not Welcome Here

Some of my loyal reader(s) may remember ESPN's Sean Salisbury being suspended for a little while after passing his cell phone around and asking ESPN's female interns to take a look at his junk.

First off, let me just say that that's not how it's done. Just drop your pants, dude; don't do it halfway.

Secondly, if you're REALLY that impressed with your wingwang, the least you could do is take a picture with a decent high-res camera, not some 1.3-megapixel digital daguerreotype. Your penis deserves at least that much respect (at least according to you).

Apparently, a much-less-malevolent version of the same thing happened just the other day to Chris Cooley, Washington Redskins tight end. He meant to take a picture of the game plan for their contest against the Saints.

He accidentally photographed, then posted on the internet, his genitals. Oops.

The best part of the story, though, is his apology statement, which includes this tidbit:
"The picture wouldn't have been up for so long, but we were in the middle of winning a big game."

Well, the guy knows what his priorities are, anyway.

Overheard

A recent conversation overheard in our house:
Kirsten: "Yay, Top 20!"
Brian: "Like, music videos?"
Kirsten: "By 'videos,' do you mean New Kids on The Block? HEEHEEHEE!!!"
*pause*
Kirsten: "Why can't I look away?"
*pause*
Kirsten: "I'm so glad they all still dance in unison."

For the record, I received the New Kids' album Hangin' Tough as a gift my fourth-grade year, and actually appreciated it a little bit. I would however prefer to receive Death Magnetic this year.

It's Officially Abuse Because I'm Complaining

I know that in a previous post I mentioned how I'm a big fan of ridiculous acoustic guitar covers.

Well, fuck it all, I lied.

Yesterday I heard two covers of Modern English's classic "Melt With You," which is about the perfect example of 1980s atonal pop music. I guess it's not quite as good as "One Night in Bangkok," but fewer people know the backstory of that song, which is what really makes the story.

Anyway, the first craptacular remake was overheard in a 9-West outlet in Osage Beach, and was sung by some slow-witted slow-singing woman who obviously thought the world of her pseudo-lesbianic acoustic suckfest that she calls "music." It sucked. It sucked like an Oreck. Seriously: that song was so bad it could pick up a bowling ball with its suckness.

The second one was in a Hershey's commercial. At least there it's thematically-linked to the product. And it wasn't twice as long because some halfwit girl tried to sound meaningful but instead sounded like she'd inhaled hexafluoride and the slow-motion button on a TiVo remote. It still bothered me, though, I think because I'd heard the other one just a couple hours earlier. Maybe it's just because I really, really wish that those old-time TV ad jingles would come back. I guess it'd be a little difficult to advertise Playboy, though.

I can hear it now: "What rhymes with 'vagoo?'"

I've Seen This Before

All of a sudden Topanga from Boy Meets World, whose real name is Danielle Fishel, is back on television. Not as an actress, mind you (because I never thought she was really all that great), but hosting a show on the Style Network called The Dish. The entire purpose of the show is to make fun of other shows on television.

You know, just like The Soup. It's just that this one is on Style, so the budget is ridiculously low in comparison to E!'s available funds.

Speaking of The Soup, I got to wondering a few days ago about former host John Henson, who hosted the show before Greg Kinnear (back when it was called Talk Soup). It isn't pretty.

Oddly enough, though, The Dish isn't bad...it's funny. Is that wrong?