Live Blog: Imo's Pizza

Today, because of the rain (and my lacking a car), I've gone to Imo's pizza to try it out - there's one pretty much right next door to my office. I'm going to post a running blog of how it goes.

12:45: Back to the office - I've gotten an 8" pepperoni pizza with cheesy breadsticks and a cherry pepsi.

12:45: The pepsi is fine.

12:46: First "slice".....ugh. It's like eating a greasy cracker.

12:47: Second slice no better

12:48: It's worth explaining that a "slice" in the traditional sense, these aren't. They're basically square shapes cut from a round pizza, so the "corners" are rounded triangles. Still not very good.

12:51: Just took a YouTube break. Imo's runs advertisements about how some people like these things, but why? Why would you like this? Did the Crusaders like going to prison in the Holy Land? It's doubtful, but I'd waffle between the two if given the choice.

12:53: Just got a piece with pepperoni. It tasted slightly better...the greasy meat drowned out the taste of weird-ass cheese.

12:56: Seriously, what's up with the cheese?

12:57: "911, what is your emergency?"
"Yeah, I just ate some Imo's pizza."
"Is this an emergency?"
"Give it a minute."

1:01: Taking a minute to allow my stomach to settle, I looked up an interesting article by an obvious idiot about the origins of Provel cheese, which supposedly sits on top of an Imo's pizza. I'm seeing cheddar, myself. Anyway, he's an idiot because he liked the pizza.

1:02: Oh, look...the cops are here.

1:03: The police saw my pizza box and understood instantly. They're gone now.

1:04: Honestly, even their logo is somehow off. It looks like a skinny girl with weird breasts and a mustache, or maybe a dude with gynecomastia.

1:05: Having fought my way through the pizza, it's time to try the bread.

1:06: Oh my god this is delicious! Why don't they just stop selling pizza and switch to this?

1:10: I regret this decision so much. I'm nauseous and bloaty. And belching like a factory smokestack filled with rootbeer and cherry bombs. Why do people eat this?


Ugh...I wish I hadn't done that. I'm officially adding Imo's to the list of restaurants Kirsten and I cannot eat at again: McDonald's, Applebee's, and Outback.