Boy Scouts Can Become Mad Scientists, Too

And here's the starting point: a cute little remote-controlled robot kit.
Gizmo 4 plans (PDF document).

Miscellany

Just got in from New Orleans last night. Will create update tomorrow, I hope.

New phrase: "Dull as a goose feather." Used in reference to knife blades.

Why Marty Schottenheimer was Fired

Never before has an NFL coach been fired after a 14-2 season. Never. And yet the San Diego Chargers fired Marty Schottenheimer, one of the winningest coaches in NFL history, on Monday. Some can say it was because he let his assistant coaches interview for other jobs elsewhere, and leaving his own staff gutted. Some can say it was his team's collapse against the New England Patriots in the first round of this year's playoffs. Some can say it was his bad relationship with Chargers General Manger AJ Smith.

I'm not sure what the real reason he was fired was, but I can tell you why I would never hire him. He's the exact same coach as Marv Levy, who "led" the Buffalo Bills to four straight Super Bowl losses from 1990 to 1993.

I think Schottenheimer's body of work in the postseason speaks for itself. He's 5-13 in the postseason, and hasn't won a playoff game since Bill Clinton was a first-term president. He's a good regular season coach, but he can't get his team up when it matters - when there's no next week. His teams continually fail to put games together when they need to the most.

That's why I use Marv Levy as an example. There is no way, NO WAY, that the Bills weren't better than the Giants in 1990. It's just not possible. And yet, when it mattered, when he had to have his team stand tall and straight and leave everything on the field, they didn't - they played like it was a regular season game. That's why Frank Reich's comeback happened against the Oilers - Frank Reich picked the team up and willed them into playing with intensity. They were dead behind Kelly and Levy. Put in Reich, who's a much more fiery guy than either Levy or Kelly, and the team picks it up and gets the job done.

Marv Levy was a great regular season coach with the Chiefs and with the Bills. But when he had to get his team to play lights out when it mattered most, they didn't. The same with Schottenheimer - when he has to get his team to stand like trees, they wilt like spinach.

You don't have to have a +.500 coaching record in the postseason to be a good coach in my book, but you can't expect to fail spectacularly year after year and have too much of my respect.

Ridiculous!

Kirsten and I caught an episode of Bleach the other day on Cartoon Network. Bomb threats notwithstanding (or applicable here, Meatwad), it's my new Anime/Animated Show of the Moment.

For those not familiar with the plot, it's about a guy who has the power to see ghosts, who gains the ability to cleanse the souls of evil ghosts. That power comes from a Soul Reaper, a person-like being from a place called the "Soul Society." Anyway, this dude, Ichigo, has a few friends from his high school who have the ability to help him on his various quests related to and stemming from his Soul Reaper abilities.

It should be noted that in every anime series, the protagonist/hero is always in high school. I guess once you turn 18 in Japan, you can no longer save the world. Your knees must blow out too easily, or something.

It should also be noted that, like Dragon Ball Z, there's a lot of exposition and monologued character biographies in Bleach. While I appreciate the desire for character backgrounding and development, there are times when I want less chat, more splat.

Anyway, Kirsten spent the entire episode staring at, and mocking, one character's jumblies. For half an hour (well, 23 minutes, because apparently the Japanese have lots more commercials than we do, or the Canadian company who does English adaptations likes to do a lot of editing), all she could say was, "Those things are ridiculous. Look at them!"

For what it's worth, Orihime gets mocked a lot for her bazongas. And there's a character whom Kirsten hasn't met yet who has even larger breasts, and even more fun made of her for it.

Unlike other anime series, though (I'm looking at YOU, Sailor Moon, Ranma, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Pocahontas in the Disney realm), not all of the characters are hypersexualized over-developed trollops with short skirts and legs that go all the way up.

Just Orihime.

The rest - well, even the main female character Rukia, the original Soul Reaper whose powers were given to Ichigo, looks like a normal girl. And that's pretty refreshing. For 23 minutes, anyway.

When "Clusterfuck" is Too Weak a Term

So I went to a new Starbucks that opened in Brentwood a few months ago (the starbucks, not when I went - I was there Friday). It's a stand-alone, meaning it has its own walls, and therefore Starbucks and Starbucks alone was responsible for approving the lot design and architecture.

And they're idiots.

The problem, as I saw it, was that there is too much demand for the drivethrough for the starbucks, and no decent access to the parking lot. Which brings up an interesting question: Why would you go to a Starbucks drive through? It takes a lot of time to make a Venti double-shot hazelnut flavored half-caf soy cappucino with whipped cream. Almost as much as it takes to type it out, actually. So there were people going through the drive through, and some other people making left or right turns off of Brentwood Boulevard into the lot - except they weren't actually making it INTO the lot, they were just pulling into a position to enter the lot. And blocking brentwood boulevard.

Another problem is that the entrance for the drivethrough is also the entrance for the parking lot, and the exit for the drivethrough, and the exit for the parking lot. So when someone (in an expensive SUV, natch) pulled into the entrance, they also managed to block the exit lane because they couldn't drive. And so this person, in his or her infinite inability to drive, was blocking Brentwood Boulevard (creating a mini jam) and also keeping people from moving out of the drive through. And if the people who want to leave can't, then the people who want to enter can't, and the people who just want to drive past and flip someone off can't do that, and it creates a little incident of gridlock.

It took me 15 minutes to get in and out, and I didn't use the drive through. I just parked (somehow), went in, bought some black coffee and a scone, and left. Fifteen minutes. All because Starbucks suddenly decided they needed a new way to conquer the world, one gallon of gas at a time.

By the way, I remembered as I was leaving that I actually hate Starbucks coffee, so I guess that the joke's on me.

On Do-It-Yourself Liposuction

"The Dyson never looses suction...look..."
bzzzzZZZZWWHHHHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM
"OW!! OWIEOWIEOWIEOWIE!!!!"
VVVVWWWWWRRRRRRrrrrrrr......
"It hurts, but I'm so pretty..."

Super Bowl Hangover

A lot of people on a lot of chat boards in a lot of places are saying that Rex Grossman's performance in Super Bowl XLI was the Worst of All Time.†

And a lot of people are wrong.

The Colts had the ball for 81 plays in the Super Bowl, the Bears for 48. That's a huge disparity - but why did the Colts keep getting the ball back? Here's why:

Here's a list of all Bears 3rd downs for the offense.
3rd-3, CHI42 11:37 R. Grossman incomplete pass to the left
3rd-4, IND4 4:34 R. Grossman passed to M. Muhammad to the right for 4 yard touchdown.
3rd-6, CHI9 0:57 T. Jones rushed up the middle for 4 yard gain
3rd-6, CHI26 10:06 R. Grossman passed to R. Davis to the right for 2 yard gain
3rd-3, CHI43 4:50 T. Jones rushed to the right for 2 yard gain
3rd-12, CHI44 5:45 R. Grossman rushed up the middle for no gain. R. Grossman fumbled. R. Grossman recovered fumble
3rd-8, IND26 1:30 R. Grossman incomplete pass to the left
3rd-2, CHI28 10:44 R. Grossman passed to D. Clark down the middle for 11 yard gain
3rd-8, CHI48 5:32 R. Grossman passed to T. Jones to the left for 1 yard loss
3rd-3, CHI46 0:15 R. Grossman passed to D. Clark to the right for 18 yard gain

There were 8 passes on third down (I'm counting the fumble play, because in watching it I am convinced it was a designed pass play), and two called runs.

Let's say that 3 yards or less is a running down. There were four plays that fit that situation, and only once was a rush called. So three passes were called in run situations. If you assume that FOUR yards is the outside edge of a running play (not unreasonable - excluding the 52-yarder, Thomas Jones rushed 14 times for 60 yards, a 4.3 ypc average), then there were five such situations. Of those five, 4 plays were passes.

Of the passing situations, all were called passes except for a 3rd and 6 rushing play. I can live with that.

The problem is that the Bears couldn't convert on third down, and I put it to you that it's NOT because they gave up on the run. Up until the pick-six (and counting that pass) with 11:44 left in the fourth quarter, the Bears had called 14 RB rushes and 14 passes. They just didn't execute. They didn't call the right plays on third down to begin with (five third and shorts, four of them passes? That's moronic), and when they had the chance, they screwed it up.

In large measure, I blame the offensive coordinator for the Bears inability to sustain a drive, not Rex Grossman (BTW: Until the interception, Grossman was 9 for 13 for 75 yards and one TD, a QB rating of 109.5...after and including the first INT, he was 11 for 15, 90 yards, and 2 INTs, a rating of 48.6).

What I think, looking at the playcalling and the numbers, is that Grossman had so much weight put on his shoulders by the OC's bad play calls, and cracked under the pressure. He couldn't handle himself in a pressure situation like that, on that stage.

†: The worst Super Bowl performance of all time is probably Tony Eason, who went 0-6 and was yanked, making him the only starting Super Bowl QB never to complete a pass. Jim Kelly was awful in his third Super Bowl, and Neil O'Donnell single-handedly cost the Steelers their game against the Cowboys.

Just to Reiterate

Bears over Colts.

Kool and the Gang Say Hello

Celebrate good times - it's Super Bowl Eve!

Title IX

Just to prove that I'm not just a pervert horndog (OK, I mean, I admit that's part of me, but not all of me. Just like cappucino isn't just espresso), below is a link to the Giada de Laurentiis/Rachel Ray Iron Chef America battle. In four parts.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4