When "Clusterfuck" is Too Weak a Term

So I went to a new Starbucks that opened in Brentwood a few months ago (the starbucks, not when I went - I was there Friday). It's a stand-alone, meaning it has its own walls, and therefore Starbucks and Starbucks alone was responsible for approving the lot design and architecture.

And they're idiots.

The problem, as I saw it, was that there is too much demand for the drivethrough for the starbucks, and no decent access to the parking lot. Which brings up an interesting question: Why would you go to a Starbucks drive through? It takes a lot of time to make a Venti double-shot hazelnut flavored half-caf soy cappucino with whipped cream. Almost as much as it takes to type it out, actually. So there were people going through the drive through, and some other people making left or right turns off of Brentwood Boulevard into the lot - except they weren't actually making it INTO the lot, they were just pulling into a position to enter the lot. And blocking brentwood boulevard.

Another problem is that the entrance for the drivethrough is also the entrance for the parking lot, and the exit for the drivethrough, and the exit for the parking lot. So when someone (in an expensive SUV, natch) pulled into the entrance, they also managed to block the exit lane because they couldn't drive. And so this person, in his or her infinite inability to drive, was blocking Brentwood Boulevard (creating a mini jam) and also keeping people from moving out of the drive through. And if the people who want to leave can't, then the people who want to enter can't, and the people who just want to drive past and flip someone off can't do that, and it creates a little incident of gridlock.

It took me 15 minutes to get in and out, and I didn't use the drive through. I just parked (somehow), went in, bought some black coffee and a scone, and left. Fifteen minutes. All because Starbucks suddenly decided they needed a new way to conquer the world, one gallon of gas at a time.

By the way, I remembered as I was leaving that I actually hate Starbucks coffee, so I guess that the joke's on me.