Notre Dame is 0-5

I have to admit it's hardly funny anymore. I feel really badly for the guys who went to school there to play football who obviously don't have any ability or resiliency. And I feel sorry for everyone who's realizing a few years late that Charlie Weis might be a fine offensive mind in the NFL, but can't recruit for crap and can't teach a team to play with heart, fire, or toughness.

It's just...painful now. Really really painful. Notre Dame should never have dropped this low. There's no reason for it - you can't blame academic standards, because places like Appy State (which I think could probably beat ND handily) are good academic schools. Or, good by comparison. And Cal Berkeley is full of freaking hippies and particle physicists and particle physicist hippies, yet is ranked in the top 5 in the country. USC is a private school, let's not forget (Number 2 ranking). And the service academies all have possibly the toughest eligibility requirements of any school in the country, but they are going to beat the pants off of the Fighting Irish.

So what's the deal with UND?

Gotta be Weis - that's all I can think. Or maybe there are a lot of really talented and intelligent athletes who realized that Ty Willingham was fired for reasons other than being unable to beat USC; maybe all those talented intelligent athletes saw that Weis was hired and Willingham was fired in part because one is white and famous and the other is black and not. And those players, seeing this, decided to go to other places that made offers, like Case Western Reserve and Cornell and State University of New York-Albany.

Seriously. How can a team fall so far so fast? How can a team recruit so badly? Even the blind squirrels aren't finding nuts.

I hope NBC cancels their Notre Dame broadcast contract this offseason, for the sake of the school and all that it used to be.

Getting Married is Hard

I'm sorry for the lack of updates of late, but the fact is, I've had a lot more on my plate lately than I thought. I've been trying pretty hard to think of stuff to put up here, but I just can't seem to find the time or energy. So, sorry for that.

Anyway.

Below is one of the funniest videos ever. Seriously. Just remember that a fan running onto the field puts his own safety at risk.

Bob Vila Fan Kills Self

Well, I actually don't know if the guy liked Bob Vila or not, but he did build his own guillotine. It would have taken hours, without a doubt. Possibly days.

Story

Although you have to admit: this is not a guy who liked to do things halfway.

I Can't Believe I Forgot This

Among the funnier SNL fake commercials ever, starring the future Oscar-winning actor (and occasional Colts quarterback) Peyton Manning.

Sometimes it's Nice to Get Away

Kirsten and I went to Lake of the Ozarks this past weekend, just as a getaway. Her parents are owners in a timeshare chain, and the company (Worldmark by Wyndham, for those wondering) has a joint on the waterfront at the lake. So we asked her parents to spend some points (not money, because you buy points, just like a meal plan) and put us up for two nights. They complied, and so we went.

It was a good weekend, if a little cold, since it's after labor day. A light mist hung over the area on Saturday, but no complaints - we managed to get in some fun times, including Kirsten's first trip to a cave. Ever.

Bridal Cave, outside of Camdenton, Missouri, is famous because people get married there. Not us, mind you - we were just there on the tour. But it's a very pretty cave, if a little bit over-lighted. They even installed lights in crevices 30 feet off of the trail to provide mood lighting. Very weird.

The tour was a ranger, Kirsten, me, and a family of four. The mom and dad had gotten married in the cave several years before...many several years before, since they had a teenage son and didn't strike me as the kids-before-marriage kind. Anyway, their younger son was dumb as a box of rocks. He asked the question, "What's that?" which is fine in a cave - if you've never heard of a stalactiflat before, you're likely to be confused about it. But when you point to an electrical junction box and a bundle of wires and ask what it is, and then get told "It's an electrical box for the lights," and then say, "Why?" and you're in a cave full of lights and there's already been a demonstration of what total darkness is, maybe, just maybe, you're reading below grade level. That's all I'm saying.

We went jet-skiing Sunday morning, and Kirsten took a tumble, losing her sunglasses in one of the coves on the lake. It was a shame, and she seemed kinda bummed, but then she went and leapt over the wake of a large 40-foot cruiser. And, I have to admit, I have never been as attracted to Kirsten as I was when she took the initiative to do something as dumb, foolish, ridiculously dangerous and out-of-character as try to run a jetski over a 5-foot-deep wave and trough.

But, all things aside, the best point of the weekend was this quote:
"Sloppy seconds are not cool!"
-Kirsten, explaining why she'd never do a threesome involving two guys.