Peanut Butter Jelly Gwar

Everyone loves the dancing banana, apparently. I mean, it's a fruit, and it dances! What could be better?

The history of the dancing banana, for those who don't know, involves a song by the Buckwheat Boys, and a flash animation that someone with too much time and acid on their hands put to the song, creating a dancing banana that has stuck with the internet (and Family Guy) for the last 6 years.

And, of course, some people wanted to put it to music. Like the folks who put up the video below:


I like it. It's as if Spinal Tap were still around. And, you know, real.

Anyway, on to the picks for this week's NFL matchups for week 9. One could guestimate that the season will be half over midway during the games this week (roundabout 4:15 PM eastern time), but due to byes, that's not entirely true. Not counting the post-season, There are 17 weeks and 256 games in the NFL season (16 games plus one bye for each team), and the space between games 128 and 129 marks the halfway point of the NFL season. That point, my pretties, is actually between this week and next week. So Wednesday at 12 noon Eastern Time marks the actual halfway point of the NFL season. And I have to get about, oh, a half-season's worth of drinking in. I hope that doesn't interfere with my desires to vote on Tuesday. You know, like getting so drunk I accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan.

Texans at Giants: The Texans look better this year than any of their previous four seasons, I'll admit that. But then, Courtney Love has cleaned up nice lately too, but we don't seem to be all knocking on her door. NYG
Saints at Buccaneers: The Bucs are still bad, the Saints are still playing pretty good football, as long as Reggie Bush doesn't try to pass. NO
Packers at Bills: Two teams with similar records (3-4 for the pack, 2-5 for the Bills) playing at the Bills' home turf. Normally, this would be a tough call and I'd go with the Bills just because the Pack are so sinusoidal in their play, but Buffalo actually has the worst scoring offense in the league. I just can't pick a team like that to win very often. GB
Cowboys at Redskins: Yes, I'm on the Tony Romo bandwagon. What's it to you? DAL
Bears at Dolphins: Best-case scenario: Joey Harrington ends this game curled in a ball sucking his thumb. And that's from the Dolphins' point of view. CHI
Titans at Jaguars: David Garrard will make his second-straight start because Byron Leftwich isn't as good as I thought he was. But the Titans are just as bad this year as in the previous three. JAX
Falcons at Lions: The Falcons will still be riding high on their win over Cincinnati next week. The Lions, on the flipside, aren't showing a lot of improvement from week to week. ATL
Bengals at Ravens: The Cincinnati season continues to slide into obscurity. And by "obscurity," I mean "the septic tank." BAL
Chiefs at Rams: The Ram defense has become a liability the last two weeks, and it won't be fixed by this week. Damon Huard looks good as the starter for the Chiefs, and they'll win a crucial road game here. KC
Vikings at 49ers: The Vikings looked overmatched against the Patriots. Some of that can be attributed to Bill Belicheck and his coaching staff really knowing how to guide the Pats past an inferior foe, but some of it can be tied to a rookie head coach who's still learning the difference between his ass and his elbow, figuratively speaking. The 49ers are still learning how to spell "ass." MIN
Broncos at Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger is obviously not seeing things as well this year as in years past. Maybe chewing on a Chrysler's hood ornament had something to do with that. The Broncos defense will eat him alive. DEN
Browns at Chargers: The Browns won last week because NFL officiating the last three weeks has been a joke. Chargers have this one in hand by the end of the second quarter. SDG
Colts at Patriots: This is a tough game to call, but my coin flip told me the Pats would win. Yes, I flipped a coin. Yes, I've sunk that low. Yes, I'm at home on a Saturday night posting on my blog. Just keep reading. NE
Raiders at Seahawks: The Raiders registered 98 yards in total offense last week, in one whole game. They can't keep winning like that, even if they are on a two-game winning streak. SEA