I Told My Wife She Looked Fat

As I write this, Lorelei is engaging in one of her weird eating habits - she has decided that she doesn't like frozen green beans unless they're still frozen. She's nomming on some frozen french-cut green beans. Frozen. Eating. So weird.

An actual conversation from the other day:
Kirsten: "I look so bad - look at this pooch!"
Brian: "It's not really a pooch. You just look fat."
Kirsten: "..."
Brian: "Well, really, I mean it's more like you look lumpy."
Kirsten: "???"
Brian: "Maybe a little misshapen."
Kirsten: "!!!"

Long story short, Kirsten's pregnant; she's due in March. I blame the weeklong road trip Kirsten took in late May and early June. Apparently, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. Or it could be that we were thinking in our own economic self-interest: we'll save 200 bucks a month or so in federal taxes, to say nothing of the state tax benefits. Kids are profitable! More profitable even than being a Wall Street firm. I wonder if Bank of America has considered adopting children (who meet the requirements for exemption) to help reduce their tax burden? They should.

Anyway, this is obviously great news. Worth noting, though, that when things go wrong, this is still all my fault. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.