Ah, Merlot. The Wal-Mart of Wines.

So, Kirsten and I decided we've finally finished with our most recent fast-food binge, and we're going to move back to cooking more of our own meals. Our most recent food trends have had a lot to do with Kirsten being sick for basically the last two and a half weeks, but she's getting better, so our diet is, too.

Side note: Despite how badly Kirsten thinks we've been eating, I still have yet to try the Jesus of hamburgers. Shame.

Anyway, we're easing back into the whole cook-for-ourselves thing, starting tonight with a Bertolli skillet meal. I was pretty much cool with the instructions ("Pour into frying pan. Heat. Eat. Dumbass"), until I saw at the end: "Suggested wine pairing: Merlot."

Wait...what? Suggested wine pairings? On an idiot dinner? Really?

Yes, really. Apparently, Bertolli has started putting suggested wine pairings on all of its "Classic meals." If you like frying your scampi, you might also like a nice Chardonnay.

Of course, none of this speaks to what the best drink pairing for ramen would be. Probably the champagne of beers.