Doctor, I have a dork injury
There are certain types of injuries that only kids regarded as "dorks" can get. Certain ailments that only strike those of us who spend more time on the internet than off it.

Take, for example, eyestrain, and chronically dry eyes. Both are the result of staring at a computer monitor all the time (although the advent of higher refresh rates has helped alleviate eyestrain to some degree).

And in my case, a trigger blister caused by playing too much "Laser Tag." I hardly believe that a real gun would cause such damage to my hand as the huge hole I now sport that came from that stinking phaser - and if you've been injured by a phaser, it's safe to say that you're a dork.

On to the NFL Picks!
-Carolina at Dallas: In a game between two teams who want it, the question is "who wants it more?" I think it's the Panthers

-Detroit at Minnesota: I don't even know why I'm bothering to pick this game. Even the Vikings can't blow this one. Besides, when was the last time the Lions won on the road? Vikings

-Indianapolis at Buffalo: Indianapolis won last week, despite my assurances that they would lose. I can only attribute that to a team fire that Tony Dungy has finally managed to stoke. Shame about the Bills, really: Dick LeBeau has been mentioned as a possible new head coach. Colts

-Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets: In a game pitting two Marshall quarterbacks (which I don't believe has ever happened), we see one bad team take on another team that was bad for a long time. But they aren't any more. Jets

-New England at Houston: People can tout the Houston defense all they want, but this comes down to "who is the more complete team?" Patriots

-New Orleans at Philadelphia: The Saints are such a streaky team, I really can't pick them any week, just because the chances of being wrong are so dadgummed high. Eagles

-Pittsburgh at Cleveland: I believe that these teams are equally bad, which means that the game will come down to whichever team has the better coach. Pittsburgh

-Seattle at Baltimore: Anthony Wright. Seahawks

-San Francisco at Green Bay: The 49ers under Erickson are very inconsistent from one quarter to the next, and I don't really think they're suited for the type of blue-collar ball that the Packers play. Plus, it's Lambeau, which really is a great home field. Packers

-Chicago at Denver: In my official Blowout of the week pick, I have to say that Chicago doesn't stand a chance. Denver, dare I say it, will put up far more points than the Rams did last week. Broncos

-St. Louis at Arizona: Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Blowout of the Week's cousin, Senseless Beating of the Week. Senseless Beating, meet the Cardinals. Rams

-Cincinnati at San Diego: The last time the Bengals won any game on the West Coast was 1988. Can they do it again? Bengals

-Oakland at Kansas City: Just lose to the Bengals? Are you suddenly being called overrated? Does your head coach cry all the time? Play the Raiders! Chiefs

-Tennessee at Atlanta: In a battle featuring the most complete team in the AFC against the team with the most dreams smashed to bits, this should be a complete snoozefest for anyone who doesn't live under a rock. Titans

-Washington at Miami: I don't know why, but I still think that Spurrier's charges have the ability to surprise some teams who take them too lightly. It all comes down to the Redskins D-Line. Have they watched enough tape to know that the Dolphins run in 70% of 1st-and-10 situations? I bet they have. Redskins

-N.Y. Giants at Tampa Bay Just like the Redskins can surprise people, so can the Bucs. Add that to the fact that this is likely to be another coaches' duel, and you can pretty easily guess the winner in this contest. Buccaneers