Another late round of NFL picks
Well, for the second straight week, I finished at 8-6...not bad, considering that I really have no prognosticating ability at all. But anywho, there's fourteen more games this week, and I intend to finish over .500 again.
By the way, I'll post how those ESPN "experts" are doing on Tuesday, just so I can feel some sense of self-worth.
Sunday's games:
-Baltimore at Cincinnati: As I said last week: This is football? Where? I don't see any. The outcome depends on who stops the run better, and when Jon Kitna's drive-killing interception happens. Cincy (this pick may or may not have anything to do with Kitna being my starting quarterback over Drew Brees)
-Dallas at Detroit: Just to make the San Francisco 49ers' front office to look even stupider, I'd like to see the Lions win more games this year than the 49ers. Problem is, that's hard when you play teams like the up-and-coming Cowboys. Dallas
-Denver at Minnesota: Steve Beuerlein? Is he still playing? Apparently so, and this is a great game for Minnesota to re-introduce Daunte Culpepper to the game of football. Minnesota
-Green Bay at St. Louis: I like Brett Favre, I really do. He's a class act, he's a great football player, and he looks like he's having too much fun for a 34-year-old who was cast off by the Atlanta Falcons (who, by the looks of things, could have used him over the years). But...the Rams have a few too many weapons. This game could go either way, but I'm pulling for the home team Rams. Saint Louis
-New England at Miami: How New England won at all last week, I do not know. But the Dolphins look a lot better than they did in week three, they look a lot better than the Patriots, and Ricky Williams remains very, very good and very, very healthy. Miami
-New Orleans at Atlanta: This game is being promoted in Atlanta as "Suckfest XVIII," and with good reason. Both teams suck. Can NFL games end in a tie? Yes? Good. Because this one probably will. There are no winners here, but I lean slightly towards Atlanta
-Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants: The Giants displayed some glaring weaknesses last week, one of which was that Tiki Barber still has the dropsies. I like the Phillies - I mean, Eagles. Philadelphia
-San Diego at Cleveland Cleveland apologists will say that the loss of two interior linemen this week means, nothing, that any widebody can block and play center. These are the same people who throw batteries at opposing players. San Diego is due, in my Upset Special. Bolts
-Tennessee at CarolinaThis is definitely the Close Game of the Week. You have a guy who's among the best quarterbacks in the NFL, going up against a defense that's been less than stingy against the pass. On the other side of the ball, there's an offense designed to bludgeon the opponent into submission, but the main wrecking ball, Stephen Davis, may have a few fumble issues with his bruised arm. I'm calling the Titans in my Close Game of the Week.
-N.Y. Jets at Houston: Vinny Testaverde is still the Jets' starting quarterback. A run'n'shoot QB in a west-coast offense? Houston
-Chicago at Seattle: It would be nice to look at this game and think that Chris Chandler gives the Bears their best chance to win. Perhaps if the Bears were playing the Raiders again, I could say that with more conviction. As it is, I know I'll be spitting milk out my nose if I try to make myself sound serious. Seahawks
-Tampa Bay at San Francisco: That's right - Dennis Erickson still sucks in the pros. Maybe he'll be better next year; I don't know. But I do know that Tampa Bay is going to eat gimpy-ass Jeff Garcia for lunch. And Garcia is still ugly. Tampa Bay
-Washington at Buffalo: Billed as the game that brings Bruce Smith back to Buffalo, looking for his NFL record in career sacks, this would be better served by saying that it's "the game with two struggling offenses against two mediocre defenses." Problem is, that didn't fit on the gameday programs so well. Washington
Monday's game:
-Kansas City at Oakland: For my fantasy football team's sake, I hope that Rich Gannon doesn't even play. Not that it would matter, though - Oakland is slowly proving that Bill Callaghan is a moron, that his assistants couldn't coach babies to crap their diapers, and that forty-year-olds should be selling floor coverings (like Ickey Woods), rather than playing professional football (like the Raiders). Kansas City in a blowout
Well, that's it. I'm off to enjoy a smoothie.
Well, for the second straight week, I finished at 8-6...not bad, considering that I really have no prognosticating ability at all. But anywho, there's fourteen more games this week, and I intend to finish over .500 again.
By the way, I'll post how those ESPN "experts" are doing on Tuesday, just so I can feel some sense of self-worth.
Sunday's games:
-Baltimore at Cincinnati: As I said last week: This is football? Where? I don't see any. The outcome depends on who stops the run better, and when Jon Kitna's drive-killing interception happens. Cincy (this pick may or may not have anything to do with Kitna being my starting quarterback over Drew Brees)
-Dallas at Detroit: Just to make the San Francisco 49ers' front office to look even stupider, I'd like to see the Lions win more games this year than the 49ers. Problem is, that's hard when you play teams like the up-and-coming Cowboys. Dallas
-Denver at Minnesota: Steve Beuerlein? Is he still playing? Apparently so, and this is a great game for Minnesota to re-introduce Daunte Culpepper to the game of football. Minnesota
-Green Bay at St. Louis: I like Brett Favre, I really do. He's a class act, he's a great football player, and he looks like he's having too much fun for a 34-year-old who was cast off by the Atlanta Falcons (who, by the looks of things, could have used him over the years). But...the Rams have a few too many weapons. This game could go either way, but I'm pulling for the home team Rams. Saint Louis
-New England at Miami: How New England won at all last week, I do not know. But the Dolphins look a lot better than they did in week three, they look a lot better than the Patriots, and Ricky Williams remains very, very good and very, very healthy. Miami
-New Orleans at Atlanta: This game is being promoted in Atlanta as "Suckfest XVIII," and with good reason. Both teams suck. Can NFL games end in a tie? Yes? Good. Because this one probably will. There are no winners here, but I lean slightly towards Atlanta
-Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants: The Giants displayed some glaring weaknesses last week, one of which was that Tiki Barber still has the dropsies. I like the Phillies - I mean, Eagles. Philadelphia
-San Diego at Cleveland Cleveland apologists will say that the loss of two interior linemen this week means, nothing, that any widebody can block and play center. These are the same people who throw batteries at opposing players. San Diego is due, in my Upset Special. Bolts
-Tennessee at CarolinaThis is definitely the Close Game of the Week. You have a guy who's among the best quarterbacks in the NFL, going up against a defense that's been less than stingy against the pass. On the other side of the ball, there's an offense designed to bludgeon the opponent into submission, but the main wrecking ball, Stephen Davis, may have a few fumble issues with his bruised arm. I'm calling the Titans in my Close Game of the Week.
-N.Y. Jets at Houston: Vinny Testaverde is still the Jets' starting quarterback. A run'n'shoot QB in a west-coast offense? Houston
-Chicago at Seattle: It would be nice to look at this game and think that Chris Chandler gives the Bears their best chance to win. Perhaps if the Bears were playing the Raiders again, I could say that with more conviction. As it is, I know I'll be spitting milk out my nose if I try to make myself sound serious. Seahawks
-Tampa Bay at San Francisco: That's right - Dennis Erickson still sucks in the pros. Maybe he'll be better next year; I don't know. But I do know that Tampa Bay is going to eat gimpy-ass Jeff Garcia for lunch. And Garcia is still ugly. Tampa Bay
-Washington at Buffalo: Billed as the game that brings Bruce Smith back to Buffalo, looking for his NFL record in career sacks, this would be better served by saying that it's "the game with two struggling offenses against two mediocre defenses." Problem is, that didn't fit on the gameday programs so well. Washington
Monday's game:
-Kansas City at Oakland: For my fantasy football team's sake, I hope that Rich Gannon doesn't even play. Not that it would matter, though - Oakland is slowly proving that Bill Callaghan is a moron, that his assistants couldn't coach babies to crap their diapers, and that forty-year-olds should be selling floor coverings (like Ickey Woods), rather than playing professional football (like the Raiders). Kansas City in a blowout
Well, that's it. I'm off to enjoy a smoothie.
posted by Brian at 11:26 AM
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