It's Spring Again!

Major League Baseball has officially returned (sorry, Sawx fans, I don't consider that 2-game jaunt to Japan to be "official"), and that can mean only one thing: it's time for me to post some more disjointed thoughts on a theme.

It's like Brian's brain a la mode.

Anyway, is there a more unhandsome baseball player than Cardinals rookie Brian Barton? The guy has a huge nose. He looks like a happy yokel.

Cesar Izturis is a speedy mofo. Dude's got legs like rockets. Except they don't have fuel in them. Probably. And they're also (probably) not metal. But other than that, they're like a rocket.

The Cardinals decision to pick up Troy Glaus when Scott Rolen made it clear he wanted to leave was about as intelligent as trying to catch a bowling ball flung out of a trebuchet. The only difference is that Glaus won't grant anyone the sweet release of death - just frequent throwing errors.

Kirsten is still fascinated by Rick Ankiel. She says he looks "chiseled." Jack Palance was chiseled. Rick Ankiel is just undeniably handsome. But I'd never call him "chiseled."

Mike Shannon always sounds drunk. Did he suffer a stroke, or is he just always drunk?