NFL Picks, Week 2

I came into the office yesterday, to do work (believe it or not), and discovered that I had a leak and water was oh so slowly rap-tap-tapping at my chamber floor. Or, more accurately, drip-drip-dripping onto some rather important paperwork.

Turns out the HVAC repair guys had accidentally punctured the roof above my office when installing a new air mover, and water was coming in through the roof and dripping into my office through an air vent. They were nice enough to come out and fix it in yesterday's driving rainstorm, though. Especially since it was their fault.

Now, onto the picks. It's obvious that I was mentally deficient last week, and I don't have an excuse for that. Let's just hope I don't screw it up that badly this week, too.

Baltimore at Tennessee: In a game that's going to be ugly and that nobody cares about, it's tough to decide which team is going to start the season 0-2. Kyle Boller's playing possum, giving us Anthony Wright in the purple and black. Oooooo. TEN
Buffalo at Tampa Bay: This game will probably come down to defense. Tampa Bay isn't as bad as Houston was last week (how could I get so fooled?), but I still think the Bills'll hold Tampa Bay down just long enough. BUF
Detroit at Chicago: Chicago looked as bad as I figured they would last week. The home crowd will be an upshot, but it's not yet cold and nasty enough for the weather to be a difference-maker. DET
Jacksonville at Indianapolis: Byron Leftwich is really growing into his own now, in his third year, and Fred Taylor hasn't broken anything yet. But Indianapolis suddenly has a defense, and they still have the Triplets on offense. IND
Minnesota at Cincinnati: Last week, Cincinnati failed to record a single sack. Even Indianapolis's Larry Triplett recorded two (career before last week: 3 years, one sack). And while Daunte Culpepper had hands of butter against the Bucs, they were actually hitting him. Home opener for Cincinnati will be won by the visitors. MIN
New England at Carolina: Some people think Carolina's overrated. Against the Pats, almost everyone is. NE
Pittsburgh at Houston: Technically, Ben Roethli..Rothles...Roalfle...the Steelers quarterback had a perfect QB rating last year. Problem is, you have to throw at least 14 passes to qualify for a ranking in that statistic - and he only threw 11. He's still a fantasy darling, and Houston is just not a very good team. PIT
San Francisco at Philadelphia: San Francisco only beat the Rams for two reasons: one, the special teams on the Rams are awful. Two, the Rams are gonna be crappy this year. PHI
Atlanta at Seattle: Peter Warrick had no catches last week, proving me right when I said even he couldn't save the Seahawks. Same stats and results this week, I fear. ATL
St. Louis at Arizona: Those bad special teams I told you about? They're playing against another bad special teams unit in Arizona. There will be almost thirty thousand fans in Tempe. Real loyal, those Phoenix folks. </sarcasm> STL
Cleveland at Green Bay: Boy, did Brett Favre have me fooled. I completely ignored the fact that he was playing in a dome, where he has a tendency to play poorly. At least they're playing Cleveland this week. Hint for fantasy owners: keep your eyes on Frisman Jackson. GB
Miami at N.Y. Jets: New head coach Nick Saban takes over a team that really showed a lot of defensive skill last year, and puts Gus Frerotte into the starting QB role. And the team wins. Scary, huh? MIA
San Diego at Denver: The reason that San Diego lost last week is not because of Antonio Gates, it's because Marty Schottenheimer was afraid to run the ball when he had first and goal at the end of the game, and down by four. Not once did he run. Chances are good he won't make the same mistake this week. SD
Kansas City at Oakland: Good Lord, Warren Sapp is fat. Not the effective, clog-the-lane kind of fat that you want in a defensive tackle, but the have-to-be-removed-from-your-home-with-a-crane kind of fat. KC

Monday Night
N.Y. Giants at New Orleans: This game is actually at the Meadowlands in New Jersey, even though the Saints are being labelled the home team. The Giants have said they'll decorate the Meadowlands in New Orleans colors, and even paint one of the end zones with the Saints' logo and colors. That's very nice of them - can they bring in a bunch of Louisianans, too? No matter, the Saints are excellent on the road. NO
Washington at Dallas: The Saints game will go over to ESPN at 9:00 Eastern time, to make way for this game. Most fans, including myself, will follow. DAL