I'm a jerk

So, a few months ago I had me one of those Listerine Pocket Pack strips - you know, the ones that dissolve in your mouth and make you feel like you just accidentally touched a match to rocket fuel on your tongue?

Anyway, my cats were both sniffing merrily away at the package that the strips come in, and then at one of the strips itself when I took it out to give them a better grip on the situation, as it were. One of the cats, Grace, took it upon herself to take a nibble, and stared at me for a minute before the thing started to really get going - poor thing freaked out, and gave me a look when it was all over along the lines of "I know where you sleep, bitchface."

Josephine, my other cat, either didn't see this exchange or didn't think such a thing could happen to her. She sniffed the strip a bit, and then took the whole thing in her mouth.

Two seconds later, she took off running, frantically trying to get away from the thing in her maw that was causing so much discomfort. (Hint: If you ever have something in your mouth, and it's causing you discomfort, you cannot run away from it. Running away does nothing, because your mouth almost always remains firmly embedded in your face.)

When I finally tracked her down, 10 seconds and 3 rooms later, poor Josephine was cowered in the center of the office, drooling madly and trying to force the taste out of her mouth with her tongue. It was among the most pathetic things I'd seen since Mike Dukakis ran for president.

I don't have a picture of Josephine drooling madly, but this is a pretty good approximation.

The moral of this story? Never let a cat call you bitchface.