Cooking With Ron Jeremy

This post has only one reference to kielbasa - the one I just made.

Kirsten and I have taken up watching cooking shows; more accurately, Kirsten has started watching cooking shows and I listen in the background whilst playing on The Google. Anyway, there are the standard Iron Chefs and Rachel Rays running around on our TiVo, but there's also a show called Everyday Italian, hosted by Giada de Laurentiis (daughter of the movie producers). The recipes are easy and, of course, the Italian ingredients are over-pronounced, but Kirsten thinks I only watch the show with her because Giada has a nice figure.

While it's true that Ms. de Laurentiis is quite pretty, she's hardly the only reason to watch the show (some others are elucidated above, do ye ken?). The real reason is that there's no audience, it's just her and her food. And the music - honestly, the music is awful. It's muzak, really, or porn music. And when she eats, she makes all these little moaning, "mmm" sounds that I associate with women having sex in bad porno movies.

And so I patiently watch the show, every day, waiting for the closed eyes and the chin back, and Giada going "mmm" to the sultry sounds of a saxophone wailing in the background. It really is like the Playboy channel with prosciutto.

That's a bacon reference, by the way.

Anyway, here are this week's NFL picks, for the divisional round of the playoffs. Four games this weekend.

Colts at Ravens: Peyton Manning is bad in January, the Colts can't expect the Chiefs to not game plan, and the Ravens don't have to depend on Jamal Lewis the way that the Chiefs thought they had to depend on Larry Johnson. All of these spell doom for the white and blue. BAL
Eagles at Saints: I cannot in good conscience root against the Saints this week. NOR
Seahawks at Bears: Here's the thing: I really want the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl this year, because they deserved it last year. And while Rex Grossman turned in a stinker in the last game of the season for the Bears, I just don't believe that the Bears defense will let them down when it counts. CHI
Patriots at Chargers: LT + jet lag = loss for the coach in the hoodie. SDG