Are You Too Stupid to Own a Bicycle?

Sunday, April 16
2:13 p.m. LARCENY, THEFT, STEALING UNDER $500 - LIGGETT DORM - Victim reported the theft of his leased bike. The complainant reports locking the bicycle to itself with a U-bolt lock. Bike was not secured to a bike rack. Time of occurrence: April 15 from 10:45 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. Disposition: Pending.

Taken from the Student Life Police Beat. Bold mine.

If you locked a bicycle to itself and figured nobody would take it, then the answer to that question is probably yes.