Trump will save our economy
Depending on who you ask, you may hear that the economy is on a gentle upswing, or that we're all still collectively screwed (for information on the second, please see: my paycheck).

However, Donald Trump has made a move which will undoubtedly keep more people in their jobs, should his application be granted: He's applied to trademark the phrase "You're fired."

(story and applications here)

If he's successful, and is granted a far-reaching trademark, then he'll be able, in theory, to charge some small amount of money every time a manager says those two hated words. Companies, in an attempt to cut costs at every opportunity, will probably be tempted to instead say things like, "You're being outsourced," "We're moving in a different direction," and "you're part of an outplacement program."

However, this will undoubtedly cost money as well, in terms of additional ink required for those extra letters.

There are, therefore, two options that a corporation looking to cut fat has:
1) Pay a nickel to Trump, or pay a penny in extra printing costs. Keeping in mind that any spending, even wasteful spending, is in the end good for an economy, either choice is good; each will provide more wealth to one entity or another (The Donald or The Printer), which will then likely spend that money, whereas it would otherwise have been kept in company coffers.
2) Avoid the costs of firing people and keep their employees on payroll. They may have to charge a little more for goods or services, but enh - I'm sure we'll all live. This, of course, is also good for the economy.

Now, if only there were a way to get those 2.3 million jobs already lost back...but I'm sure Donald's working on something. And if he isn't, then there's always Ivana...