You know, it's really funny how time flies when you're spending your days in an office.

When I was but a wee college student, with nary a care in the world, the days seemed to drag on - lecture, lecture, lunch, lecture, stay up late, sleep, wake up, shower, lecture, ad nauseum. And with each passing day, it was as if I couldn't wait for the next to come - I was bored silly, no matter what I was actually doing. It's hard to believe now, but I had to find things to do to keep me from going stark raving mad.

Now, however, it's like the world isn't even bothering to slow down so I can get a good night's sleep. I'm bumbling around one day, and before I know it, I've been chained to the same desk for a year, I'm getting older, and now my prostate's the size of a grapefruit and my nose and ears have swollen to cover my entire face.

Well, not really on the last two things.

But it does seem that my life, and the days therein, is moving much more quickly than it did when I was a young'n. I'm not really any older than I was when I was a college student - I certainly don't feel older. But I know I am. I mean, I must be, as time does pass whether I want it to or not. I, for one, don't like it. I mean, I'm already feeling trapped in a dead-end job, and I've been here for only 14 months. It's like a freaking prison sentence.

AND I know I'm getting moralistically older, too. I can't really explain that, but I can offer anecdotal evidence:
The other week, I was wandering around the mall looking for a birthday present for Kirsten. This was about 5 days before her birthday, and I had managed to procure some girl-friendly bric-a-brac. As I was leaving the mall, I came across a shirt in Lord and Taylor's juniors section that read, "Not everything is flat in Kansas!"

Obviously, the shirt was intended for young ladies with enormous jehoobies. Only last year I would have seen that shirt and burst into a fit of testosterone-driven drooling and imagining it on just about every girl I saw over the course of a day.

Unfortunately for my sophomoric fantasies of old, when did see the shirt, the first thought that crossed my mind was "Good Lord, have these girls no shame? Back when I was in high school..." Thankfully, I managed to quash the thought. But the fact that it happened at all disturbs me - next thing you know, I'll be voting Republican and hanging out with Fred Phelps.

If anyone needs me, I'm off to drink my Fibercon/Geritol smoothie.